FREE FOOD!

At any college event, what is the one thing that gets students to come out?

Answer: FREE FOOD!

My biggest expense since starting ministry at Eastern CT State University has not been Bibles, nor has it been Topical Memory Systems, nor other spiritual resources. It has been food.

Last spring when I led a Seeker Study for spiritually curious college students, I bought them free pizza and soda every single week. I remembered those evenings when I walked into the Student Center with those pizzas, passerby students would look at me and say, "OOH! Pizza!"

Last fall when we had a men's run and Bible Study, we had it over delicious breakfast at a local restaurant in Willimantic called That Breakfast Place. To this day they still fondly remember those times there.

Mark, a student athlete at ECSU who I've been meeting up with came up and asked me, "Hey Steve, we should go out to Friendly's again. I really enjoyed it!"

One of the best ways I've found to bless a college student is buy them a meal. After all, the average student nowadays usually doesn't make much money. They can be too buried in academics and extra-curricular activities to hold even a basic part-time job to put food on their tables. They also may only have enough cooking skills and materials to make Ramen noodles, Easy Mac, or if they're really fancy....pasta. And yes, those things do get old. Very old.

It's a humbling thing as well to get treated to a meal. It makes you feel special. At times when I've had meetings with people and they snatch the bill to pay for it, I feel honored and humbled. One of the things I did for some new freshmen this past fall was buy them all

lunch at Friendly's. They appreciated it so much and thanked me when I offered to pay for them. Jesus bought his disciples a meal for their last supper together by pre-arranging a facility and various types of food for eating. He did this not only to show them the full meaning of the Passover meal, but also because He loved them and wanted to interact with them over a meal.

What is even more meaningful to that someone is sharing that same meal with them. People who eat together share a common bond: their food! There is also a well-known verse in the Bible about Jesus eating a meal with us when we invite Him into our hearts: "Here I am, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me" (Revelation 3:20). What an amazing picture to think about: the all-powerful God of the universe wanting to come into us not just to change us, but to interact with us over a meal!

Meals in Jesus' time were eaten slowly and were designed to be not just times of eating, but of socializing. I have a big reputation of being a slow eater, and I'm proud of it! This is because I like to enjoy the food and also enjoy the company I'm eating with. Sharing a meal with someone shows that you're looking at them as an equal and meeting them on their level. Plus if the conversation isn't going that deep, you can at least talk about how good the food is!

I enjoy sharing a meal with other people. I also find that even if I never eat with other people, I find that they love engaging me about food! "Hey Steve, have you ever been to this restaurant? Dude, you've gotta go there. You'll love it!" Food is one of the best conversation starters. If you can't engage someone about movies, music, or politics, try breaking the ice by talking about food!

So to those who financially support me and this ministry to ECSU, this is the biggest way that you have been a blessing to students. Thank you very much for your partnership!

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Picture 1: Turkey Club Supermelts from Friendly's. That student Mark I talked about ordered two of them one time when we ate at Friendly's. It was just after Track Practice and he was starving. He ate both of them before I finished my one melt!

Picture 2: That Breakfast Place, the local restaurant in Willimantic we ate out at for our Men's Bible Study every Saturday morning last semester. Those people served we eight sweaty, smelly guys very well!

"Father of a murdered son, husband of a murdered wife..."

"How dare you show your back to me! Slave!" Commodus looked at the gladiator, offended. "You will remove your helmet and tell me your name."

The gladiator looked down, his back still facing the offended caesar. Reluctantly, he removed his helmet, exposing his moist, matted hair. He turned around with a look of determination and fury. "My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius, commander of the armies of the north, general of the Felix Legions, loyal servant to the true Emperor, Marcus Aurelius..."

He stepped slowly toward the befuddled emperor, not looking away for an instant. "...Father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife. And I will have my vengeance in this life, or the next."

Gladiator is probably one of my all-time favorite movies. It is a classic example of good triumphing over evil, and the bad guy truly getting what he deserved. Recently when I was watching it, that particular scene really stuck out to me.

It made me think in many ways about God's broken relationship with man. He made man in His image, made woman in the man's image, both to glorify Him. Man then deliberately disobeyed Him and as a result, that man and all of us after that man became infected with sin.

As a result, our default ways are evil and we only do it because we want to be God. We think our rules are better than His, so we give Him the finger and do it ourselves. So God, over and over again, sends us prophets. We disown them, we beat them up, we even kill them.

If you were God, wouldn't you stop here? Wouldn't you just end it all by destroying all these people? They still won't listen!

But God doesn't do that. God instead looks at His Son, His only Son and says, "Son, please tell them to turn back to me." So His Son comes to earth as a man, and we laugh at Him, mock Him, spit on Him, nail metal spikes into His hands and feet and hang Him bleeding and naked on a wooden cross for six hours until He died.

Yes, we murdered God. We weren't there physically, but we are presently just as responsible for His death as Judas, as Pilate, as the Pharisees, and as the Roman guards.

This is offensive, isn't it? This is something we don't want to hear. This is something I don't even want to type! But in God's eyes, this is why justice through eternal damnation in Hell makes perfect sense. Just like how Maximus' declaration of vengeance makes sense. I cheered for him when I watched that movie, didn't you?

But here is something that's absolutely shocking. It's more than shocking! It's scandalous! Though Jesus Christ was murdered by mankind, that same death became the payment for the condemnation we deserve. Through believing that death did this, we go from being called enemies to being called sons.

There was silence in that Roman arena when Maximus looked with fury at Commodus. There was shock. There was disbelief. However, imagine the disbelief if the scene continued like this:

"...Father of a murdered son, husband of a murdered wife..." his eyes then became eyes of compassion. "I forgive you, Commodus. More than that, I want to adopt you. I want to call you my son."

People would be even more shocked, maybe a little angry too. Commodus himself would probably faint in disbelief!

This is what God offers us. Still, though we rebel through our thoughts and actions, He continues to show love and grace to us. He continues to pursue us. Though He should be infuriated, He is lovingly holding that fury back from us and offering us untold grace and love. He's offering us Himself.

That's God's love. We don't deserve it, but we get it. He offers it to all of mankind, no matter how bad we've been.

Isn't that amazing? It's funny how many of us will just stay with the condemnation. Even Christians. We stop at the condemnation and we get offended that it's even there, but we forget about the bigger love despite that! God offers us a bigger love.

Will you embrace that love?

2011 Reflections: Storms, Rob Bell, and a Worship Song I Can't Stand!

2011 was crazy!

In regards to weather, CT saw a record amount of water pound us, with the most snow we've ever had on record, lots of rain and flooding early on in the spring, a hurricane and a White Halloween!

In a lot of ways 2011 felt like a storm for me too. I didn't have anything tragic happen to me, but I found a great deal of metamorphosis happen in this heart of mine. It hurt, but the pain was a good pain.

In being an American Christian, a myriad of opinions are fed to you on a daily basis. I realized that for a lot of my Christian walk, I was doing a lot of "nodding and smiling" during church services. This past year I found myself really wrestling with several aspects of the Christian faith. Things that have been shared to me for years, and things that I shared with others, but not necessarily ones I thought were true myself.

Therefore I found myself having a much deeper desire to feed off scripture. I just wanted the Bible! I found myself bringing it with me everyday to work. Even if I never read it, there was a sense of security for me to have it.

This may sound surprising, but one book that really taught me to have a deeper foundation on certain truths was Love Wins, the very controversial book by Rob Bell. Yes, I read it, and no, it's not as heretical as some people think it is (I humbly suggest reading it for yourself).

But anyway, it was the first book I read where I actually felt challenged to pick up the Bible and read passages quoted in it for myself. Never before when reading a Christian book have I been challenged to do that. I always simply nodded and smiled when reading books that quoted the Bible.

I walked away from the book with a much firmer grasp on the truths concerning Heaven, Hell, Jesus, sin and redemption. And wasn't that Rob Bell's goal? (see the closing sentences of the Introduction to his book when you get it. I'd quote it, but I lent the book to a friend).

There was also a deeper recognition of God's love that happened. And He did it to me through the one contemporary worship song that I absolutely despise: "How He Loves Us. " It was a song which for years I couldn't stand. It was overplayed at worship sessions, I felt egotistical singing it ("He is jealous for me"), and it even felt unBiblical in some spots (ex. the line "We are His portion and He is our prize"). On top of that, it was overly-catchy and got stuck in my head all the time!

However one night this past summer when I was on a personal retreat, stressed out and couldn't sleep, I prayed to God some prayers of frustration. Frustration toward myself, Him and others. Then I couldn't explain it, but God quietly whispered to me these words: "sing 'How He Loves Us' for me." I was shocked. God knew I couldn't stand this song, and yet He wanted me to sing it. So I did, and found myself feeling the comfort of my loving Savior.

For so many years I found myself repeatedly coming to the altar before God. There were standards of holiness I knew that I had fallen short of. People in third world countries took bullets for Jesus and I found myself chickening out by not sharing Jesus with my co-workers. I felt guilty, I felt hopeless, I felt stressed out because I knew I couldn't do it. Then there was God's reassuring hand on my shoulder saying, "Son, it's okay...I forgive you, I love you..." But I shut those words out with my words of guilt.

But God DOES love me. I am NEW in the eyes of God. A saint even! A friend! A Son! His mercies are new every morning.

So now 2011 is drawing to a close. There are scars from this past year, but each scar is a memory. Each scar is not a scar of regret but a scar of sanctification. The scars are reminders of the past, but at the same time reminders that the past is healed. I'm forgiven. I fell short so many times, but I am forgiven and free in the eyes of a loving, magnificent God.

And I'm still wrestling. I'm still asking questions, but regardless of what happens I am convinced that God's loving hand on my life is not going anywhere.

Holding fast while He holds faster onto me,

Steve

Parent Me

"I'm young and just a child, I need my parents to parent me!" -Json

Though I currently work in college ministry, for years I worked with kids and teenagers. Most of my time working with them has been as a camp counselor. Usually I have had at least one kid in my group during camp who was annoying. He just drove me crazy! He cursed, he mocked, he picked fights, and of course he never listened.

Then I got that kid alone and discovered something: his biggest problem was at home. Abusive, neglectful parents. Parents who talked down to their kids and never once said, "I love you" or showed any sign of affection. The parent who wasn't there the most was their dad. I worked with inner city kids in Willimantic for two summers and discovered that EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM had no significant father figure in their lives. So many parents medicate their kids instead of lovingly discipline them. So many parents discipline and forget about the love part.

I've met a lot of orphans.

Orphans who had biological parents

Parents they lived with

but not parents they needed.

To be honest, I don't feel qualified to talk about this issue. One reason is I'm not a parent. I'm a single guy who doesn't even have a girlfriend. I also do have loving parents. My parents would easily take a bullet for me and have no trouble showing needed affection to me. I'm thankful for that. So it feels weird for me to talk about this issue.

But it's been nagging at my heart.

So is your home life hard?

Are you one who has never heard the words, "I love you" ever come out of your parents' mouths?

Do you have parents who you feel like you're parenting because of their childish behavior?

Did he hit you tonight?

Did she tell you that you'll never amount to anything?

They never encourage you, do they?

Do you even remember what your dad's voice sounds like?

When Dad stumbles home drunk, do chills run down your spine?

You miss Mom when she goes out clubbing, don't you?

Did your parents show up to your graduation last summer?

Did Mom kiss you goodnight last night?

Did Dad pray with you before bed?

Do you go days without saying a word to your parents?

Did he touch you? Are you still afraid to say anything?

You're angry aren't you? They make you angry, don't they?

God is that Father you've always dreamed of. He doesn't just want to call you "friend", but "son" or "daughter." Praying you'll know what true Fatherly love feels like. Praying that He will give you the strength to forgive and love those who failed to love you.

I'm praying for you tonight.

"One Loaf of Bread?!?!"

Picture this: you're one of the twelve disciples sitting in a boat with Jesus. You just witnessed Him feed four thousand people using a child's lunch. As the Pharisees were annoying Him with their foolish arguments, He told the twelve to get in a boat with Him, set off and go to the other side of the lake.

As you paddle away from shore and it gets progressively smaller in the distance, you look around and discover something: we forgot to bring enough bread!

"Hey guys!" Everyone looks your way. "I think we have a problem...Peter only brought one loaf of bread for all twelve of us. How are we going to eat lunch?"

The boat opens up with a resounding chorus of groans, "How could we forget the bread?"

"What are we going to do now?" Peter says, looking at Jesus.

Jesus chuckles and gives Peter a reassuring smile, "Watch out, beware of the leaven of the Pharisees and the leaven of Herod..."

"It was your fault." John glances over at James.

"My fault?" James holds out his hands in unbelief. "How is it my fault?"

"I told you to pick up some loaves of bread for the journey, not one loaf."

"What are we going to do now?!" You yell.

"Yeah, way to go, James!" John gives him a shove.

"Hold it!" Jesus' voice reverberates over everyone's noise, bringing it to a halting silence.

"Why are you discussing the fact that you have no bread? Do you not yet perceive or understand? Are your hearts hardened? Having eyes do you not see and having ears do you not hear? And do you not remember? When I broke the five loaves for the five thousand, how many buckets full of broken pieces did you take up?"

"Twelve," you all continue looking at Him.

"And the seven for the four thousand, how many baskets full of broken pieces did you take up?"

"Seven."

"Do you not yet understand?"

Silence. You all look at each other and shrug.

"What is he talking about?" John looks at James, who shakes his head in disbelief.

"So what are we going to do?" you say again, hoping for an answer.

I know none of you have ever been in a boat with the Son of God, but I think we've all been in a situation like this: we get too worried about the circumstances around us, upset at others, and overwhelmed. I had this happen to me yesterday: in the morning, I had a wonderful time alone with God, a refreshing time of prayer in the car on the way to work, and a peaceful time working at Sports Authority. I spent lots of time alone, so I was able to reflect and pray while working (God has blessed me with the gift of multi-tasking).

Then I came home and realized a bitter reality: I have a lot of work to do and little time to do it. All afternoon I was hectically filling out paperwork and anxiously looking at my massive to-do list. If God said something to me about a truth or His peace, I totally ignored it, consumed by the worries drowning me.

My heart was hard.

I encourage myself and YOU to remember this promise of God when times are tough:

"The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not want.

He makes me lie down in green pastures,

He leads me beside still waters,

He restores my soul..." -Psalm 23:1-3a

Even though the trials can be tough, remember that in Jesus the pastures are green and the waters are still. Therefore be still, listen, trust, and know He is God. Who knows? Maybe He has some neat theological truth to show you about the circumstances around you that will make you go, "Hmm! Thanks God!"

May you and I in the midst of extreme trial and circumstances not bicker, argue, bite our nails, tense our shoulders, doubt, fear, get angry, BUT remember His promise for us as the solid rock of our salvation.

If you want a better interpretation of the scene described above, please check out Mark 8:14-21.

LDRSHP - Building Up Men

Loyalty, Duty, Respect, Selfless Service, Honor, Integrity and Personal Courage. (LDRSHIP)

These are the core values of the United States Army. A friend of mine, who is a student at ECSU, serves in the National Guard. A few weeks back he gave me one of the coins they were handing out at a recruiting booth at a fair, and on it were those values.

Now I'm a guy who is pretty foreign to the Army. I only have friends who are in it and I love the series Band of Brothers. However as I was staring at that coin the day he gave it to me, I was intrigued as to how Biblical each of these characteristics are.

Jesus wanted us as Christians to be all those things and then some, didn't He?

Then an idea was sparked in my head: start a Bible Study exploring these characteristics to build up men. Over the past few months there have been talks among Nav. Staff at ECSU, and in the Northeast Region as to how men are lacking in Christian fellowship. We at ECSU went into this year really trying to think up ways to attract new men and build up existing ones, so when this idea came to my head, I knew it was a God thing!

So this is what happens: every Saturday at 5:30 in the morning (yes, you read that right!), I lead a team of college guys on an early morning run for 2.5 miles. After that we drive down to a local restaurant called That Breakfast Place (seriously!) and have breakfast and Bible Study, looking into these characteristics together. As I'm writing this, we've been doing it for two weeks (technically three, but the first was a trial run).

Joel, the student who gave me the coin, helps lead, encourage and discipline the guys as we run. He was the one who originally suggested running at 5:30am! This has also been an opportunity not to just build up guys, but build up leaders. We've had eight guys come, representing not just ECSU, but UConn, Three Rivers Community College, and we even have two home schooled kids run with us!

Victoria, a waitress at That Breakfast Place, the restaurant we eat at, told us last week, "You know, I think it's really awesome that young men your age are getting together to do this every week."

A friend of mine at church who provides housing for one of the students told me how he always looks forward to the run every week. So I guess so far it's been going pretty well!

Who would've thought that college guys in New England could love learning more about Jesus at 5:30 in the morning every Saturday?

God did, that's who. Praise Him for doing wonderful things already through this!

"The Whole Truth" by Da' T.R.U.T.H.

For those of you who don't know me well, I'm really into Christian hip-hop. When I first heard this song, I was extremely excited for Da' T.R.U.T.H. and his new album.

More than a year and a half ago, Truth was forced into a sabbatical because he had an affair with another woman. During that sabbatical he went through marital counseling, prayer, weeping, repentance and marital reconciliation. I wrote a reactionary blog post about it shortly after it happened here.

Roughly six months ago he made a formal announcement and apology to his fans and announced his return under a new label and a fresh desire to minister through music. This song was one of the first released from his album and the lead single off of it. In it he reflected on the massive storm of sorrow, heartache, repentance and healing God brought him through. The chorus says it all. May you be blessed by this song and may you be in continual awe of the lavished grace through Jesus Christ.

Da' T.R.U.T.H. "The Whole Truth" Official Video (@truthonduty @Xist_Music) from Xist Music on Vimeo.

Chorus

When I was dead, He revived my soul.

He takes the broken, makes them whole,

Takes the bound, makes them free,

Takes the weak and makes them strong.

All of my sins have been erased,

He has lifted my disgrace.

I'm overjoyed, overjoyed, that Jesus would make me whole.

Verse 1

I ain't tryin to be hot, aint tryin to be relevant,

I aint a candle, I aint tryin to wax eloquent.

I'm running from a life now, trying to fight hard,

These ain't just lyrics but a contrite heart.

Yeah, feelin it like the heat in the summer,

We know better, but the flesh, it be keepin us running.

Bagged the leaks of onions? (had a hard time with this line)

As of recent discovered, if it's in the dark, it's impossible to keep secrets covered.

Who would have known that my indiscretions would reach my cousins?

I apologize to Mimi, my niece and others,

You should've been able to trust, but I breached the covenant,

I knew you all before you was able to reach the cupboard.

Now when I preached in public, it's all out the window,

'Cause sin contradicted a lot of what my pen wrote.

Yeah, especially when I wrote an Open Book,

Apparently there was something in me I overlooked...

Chorus

Verse 2

Uh, check my records, I got some prize like Harlem Knights,

I need Jesus, David's Son, like a Harley bike.

Wasn't hardly right, what I did was wrong,

And it ticks me off, and it sets me off.

And I hate the consequences 'cause death results,

But I know I reap what I sew like Betsy Ross.

Yeah, He ain't tipped me, but He let me fall,

Now I carry all that pain, sin left me scarred.

He let me fall, but He ain't let me go,

I died, went astray; sin left me broke,

Yeah, the life of me ain't no crystal stair,

But I's keep climbin' 'cause the diamond is crystal clear.

At times I'm quiet, I get a chair, sit and stare,

think about the ways that sin affected my fiscal year.

Yeah, a tide is turning now, I'm shifting gears,

Though I'm weak, He's given strength in the midst of tears.

Chorus

Verse 3

Uh, I felt dead and lonely, only God knows,

But Jesus came and breathed life on my dry bones.

I know a lot, knowing a lot's not wrong,

But now it's all about application like the iPhone.

Yeah, I got hangups like dial tones,

Yeah, but Jesus hung up and died so,

No condemnation, that's my consolation.

Am I still guilty? NOT A CONVERSATION!

Now I just want to proclaim it in the congregation,

God is good and Dr. Jesus got a lot of patience!

Yeah, I'm on the operating table, heart palpitating,

Look at what the potter's shaping!

Gotta thank The Body, cause y'all came behind me,

When my foot slipped and I sank in the valley.

'Cause something supernatural happen when the saints rally,

My true friends held me up like a bank robbery.

And that's foolproof, I can't even front like a gold tooth,

I hate what I had to go through,

but I love the fact that I got to know You,

so what you are witnessing now is The Whole Truth...

When I was dead, He revived my soul.

He takes the broken, makes them whole,

Takes the bound, makes them free,

Takes the weak and makes them strong.

All of my sins have been erased,

He has lifted my disgrace.

I'm overjoyed, overjoyed, that Jesus would make me whole.