"One Loaf of Bread?!?!"

Picture this: you're one of the twelve disciples sitting in a boat with Jesus. You just witnessed Him feed four thousand people using a child's lunch. As the Pharisees were annoying Him with their foolish arguments, He told the twelve to get in a boat with Him, set off and go to the other side of the lake.

As you paddle away from shore and it gets progressively smaller in the distance, you look around and discover something: we forgot to bring enough bread!

"Hey guys!" Everyone looks your way. "I think we have a problem...Peter only brought one loaf of bread for all twelve of us. How are we going to eat lunch?"

The boat opens up with a resounding chorus of groans, "How could we forget the bread?"

"What are we going to do now?" Peter says, looking at Jesus.

Jesus chuckles and gives Peter a reassuring smile, "Watch out, beware of the leaven of the Pharisees and the leaven of Herod..."

"It was your fault." John glances over at James.

"My fault?" James holds out his hands in unbelief. "How is it my fault?"

"I told you to pick up some loaves of bread for the journey, not one loaf."

"What are we going to do now?!" You yell.

"Yeah, way to go, James!" John gives him a shove.

"Hold it!" Jesus' voice reverberates over everyone's noise, bringing it to a halting silence.

"Why are you discussing the fact that you have no bread? Do you not yet perceive or understand? Are your hearts hardened? Having eyes do you not see and having ears do you not hear? And do you not remember? When I broke the five loaves for the five thousand, how many buckets full of broken pieces did you take up?"

"Twelve," you all continue looking at Him.

"And the seven for the four thousand, how many baskets full of broken pieces did you take up?"

"Seven."

"Do you not yet understand?"

Silence. You all look at each other and shrug.

"What is he talking about?" John looks at James, who shakes his head in disbelief.

"So what are we going to do?" you say again, hoping for an answer.

I know none of you have ever been in a boat with the Son of God, but I think we've all been in a situation like this: we get too worried about the circumstances around us, upset at others, and overwhelmed. I had this happen to me yesterday: in the morning, I had a wonderful time alone with God, a refreshing time of prayer in the car on the way to work, and a peaceful time working at Sports Authority. I spent lots of time alone, so I was able to reflect and pray while working (God has blessed me with the gift of multi-tasking).

Then I came home and realized a bitter reality: I have a lot of work to do and little time to do it. All afternoon I was hectically filling out paperwork and anxiously looking at my massive to-do list. If God said something to me about a truth or His peace, I totally ignored it, consumed by the worries drowning me.

My heart was hard.

I encourage myself and YOU to remember this promise of God when times are tough:

"The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not want.

He makes me lie down in green pastures,

He leads me beside still waters,

He restores my soul..." -Psalm 23:1-3a

Even though the trials can be tough, remember that in Jesus the pastures are green and the waters are still. Therefore be still, listen, trust, and know He is God. Who knows? Maybe He has some neat theological truth to show you about the circumstances around you that will make you go, "Hmm! Thanks God!"

May you and I in the midst of extreme trial and circumstances not bicker, argue, bite our nails, tense our shoulders, doubt, fear, get angry, BUT remember His promise for us as the solid rock of our salvation.

If you want a better interpretation of the scene described above, please check out Mark 8:14-21.

How God Has Provided

So in a lot of my blog posts previously I was talking a lot about how things in life for me have been tight and hard and how I was attempting to "Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!" (Phil. 4:3). It was and still is hard to do that, and I even had some voices of concern from friends asking me if I am okay, which of course I appreciate. And for the record....I AM!

Now a few days ago after a really encouraging meeting with a friend who strongly urged me to keep pressing, I was driving home and praying on what he was talking about. This thought then popped in my head, "Has God ever let me down?"

I then reflected on my life, even before I even embraced Christ. The first time I prayed to God about something was when I was younger. As a kid, I had problems with asthma and we were going to an indoor kids playscape called The Great Escape. It dawned on me on the way there that I forgot to take my asthma medicine before going. Immediately I said a brief prayer asking God to not let me get an asthma attack and He answered it because I never got one that day!

Fast forward to high school. I was a depressed teenager who in the year up to that point actually developed a deep hatred for God. However, I had a recent breakup with a girl who told me, "I can't fix you. You need help!" That opened up my eyes for my need to make positive changes in my life. Sitting there in study hall, the thought dawned on me to just start praying to God. I basically prayed to Him for help and for security. Almost immediately I felt a sense of warmth and God's peace came over me. I then heard the words, "Everything will be okay. I'm here with you."

Then as I continued to walk with God in Jesus Christ, over and over He showed His faithfulness to me. He delivered me from a cutting addiction, depression, anti-depressants, a possible diagnosis of lyme disease (long story), and in many instances God has provided for me financially.

In addition, a few months ago after moving back home and still working a minimum wage delivery job at Storrs Drug, a local pharmacy, I was BARELY able to pay all my bills except my health insurance premium. In the months leading up to my training date at EDGE Corps, every consecutive month a check came in the mail for me to be able to successfully pay it off! The last one was even a check from a friend of mine who just strongly felt led to give a check to me.

Now currently, I am now technically a "part time" staff member for The Navigators. God has provided most of the funds for my August paycheck with them!

And now I come to God yet again asking for a part-time job, to be fully funded and for my knee to be healed. Otherwise not all my bills will be paid, especially the large bill for gas in driving to and from Willimantic almost daily. And on top of that I'll be crippled for the rest of my life (if God wants me to be that way, then all power to Him! I just hope He doesn't). Will God let me down?

Let me answer that by asking you this: Has God ever let me down?

For those of you who don't fully trust in God, have doubts about God, have fears about God, or just have doubts and fears PERIOD, you need to know that when you put your trust in God, He will NEVER let you down.

Let's close with some scriptures:

"And Moses said to the people, 'Fear not, stand firm, and see the salvation of the LORD, which he will work for you today. For the Egyptians whom you see today, you shall never see again. The LORD will fight for you, and you have only to be silent.'" -Exodus 14:13-14 (context is right before the parting of the Red Sea)

"Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." -Isaiah 41:10

"Strengthen the feeble hands, steady the knees that give way. Say to those with fearful hearts, 'Be strong, do not fear; your God will come, He will come with vengeance; with divine retribution He will come to save you." -Isaiah 35:3-4

"The LORD is with you when you are with Him. If you seek Him, He will be found by you, but if you forsake Him, He will forsake you." -2 Chronicles 15:2b

God bless,

Steve

Worrying

"How many of you by worrying can add one hour to his life?" -Matthew 6:27 NIV

I worry a lot. It's a sin I constantly struggle with. It's one of the main reasons I get panic attacks, back pains, and bad days. This blog post is for me, but feel free to listen in if you feel so inclined.

The Bible talks about worrying a lot. You know what it says about it? DON'T DO IT! Easier said than done, right? You're telling me! Does worrying actually cause you to live longer or grow stronger? Answer: NO!

Too many people sometimes act like victims of worrying, thinking that it's not their fault, but well...it is. Worrying is all your fault, Steve (remember, I'm talking to myself). You continually let "what if" questions in your head constantly. You give your life to Jesus Christ and then it's like you take it back with your anxious thoughts.

Don't you trust Him?

That sounds like an easy question to answer, right? Do you trust Jesus Christ and His power to get you through whatever the circumstance? Just look at your life and you'll see evidence all over the place where God has gotten you through different pains and trials. You know He can get you through this.

"God has not given you a spirit of fear, but of power, of love and of self-discipline" (2 Timothy 1:7). In other words, you have that power, you have that love, and you have that self-discipline. He gave it to you. The fear you have is not of God. "There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love" (1 John 4:18). God's perfect love, which you have not fully embraced, casts out that fear inside of you.

You need to embrace Him more. You need to embrace God's perfect love for you. Jesus died on the cross for you and took the punishment for you and your anxious thoughts. Because He loves you and cares for you. Yes in a way you are inconveniencing God because He doesn't have to help you, but at the same time He rejoices so much in helping you because you are His child. He has taken you in and He can and will help you through your pains.

Does that mean things will always be easy? Absolutely not. Things will not always be easy and things will not always be perfect. However God is perfect and sovereign and in control of what happens to you. He works out everything for His good, which will ultimately be for your good, though it may not be the actual "good" you were expecting.

Steve, you need to relax. You need to let go. You need to chill out. Yes, things will get crazy and the storm will rage. You will get rocked back and forth, but you need to hang on to Jesus Christ and rejoice in Him with every fiber of your being. Rejoice when it hurts, rejoice when it sucks, rejoice when things seem impossible. God will get you through.

I'm not telling you to work for your salvation because you already have it. You don't need to work for God's affection. He gives it to you freely because He loves you so much.

So Steve.....BREATHE!

God has you. God will carry you when you can't go on and His grace is sufficient for you in your times of weakness (2 Cor. 12:9).

"Casting the whole of your care [all your anxieties, all your worries, all your concerns, once and for all] on Him, for He cares for you affectionately and cares about you watchfully." -1 Peter 5:7 AMP

God bless,

Steve