Crossroads

We all face them sometime in our lives. We're walking on what seems to be a nice, easy road until....

BAM!

We see that road split off into different directions.

Ever been there?

Crossroads can be sketchy. We want to go the right way, of course, but sometimes that right way doesn't necessarily look right. Sometimes it doesn't feel right either. It doesn't feel comfortable. Maybe that was what Jeremiah was talking about in chapter 6, verse 16: "Stand by the roads, and look, and ask for the ancient paths, where the good way is; and walk in it, and find rest for your souls."

Ancient paths. Old, worn down paths. Maybe ones that are overgrown and don't even have proper trail markings or signs on them.

I drive a lot, and directions aren't my strong suit (though I am getting better!). A few weeks ago a crazy thing happened to me where there was a car accident on the main highway I usually take to go home from a retail store I work at. The whole highway going east was closed, so I was forced to go west, got off at the next exit and prayed for a way out of this mess as cars were everywhere filled with people having the same problem as me. I was on the phone with a friend and he looked up directions for me to get back home on back roads I never even heard of.

There was one main road I had to go on for quite awhile, but I didn't know how long until I had to take a left onto another road. I went a considerable distance and felt a check in my spirit.

"Did I pass that road?" I looked around frantically.

I must have because I noticed civilization was beginning to thin out. I went from being in a very populated to a not so populated area. So I made a decision to turn around.

I doubled back looking especially hard for that road until I came back right where I started.

Well this is just great!

I rolled my eyes and the wheel yet again to turn back around.

It just so happened that the road I was looking for was just a little less than a half mile down from where I had my initial turnaround.

Sometimes the right road is not the easiest road. Sometimes the right road is not the road everyone else is going down. Sometimes that road is the one NO ONE else is going down. It's dangerous, unmarked, and in many ways unknown.

It's "ancient."

The wonderful thing about that ancient path though is that God allows us to stand, look and ask. If we feel lost, we can ask God for directions. We can ask God for a reassurance. And I believe that He is right there to give it to us. He may not give us a light though, so we can see down the path. He may just give us a nudge forward, encouraging us to keep going onto the next exciting thing He has for us.

What is that exciting thing? God, please show me.

"The Catalyst" by Linkin Park, Part 1

Linkin Park is not, nor has ever been a Christian band. In the album booklet for A Thousand Suns, they state, "the imagery personified herein is neither dogma nor political premeditation." All interpretations of this song are not exactly, to my knowledge, the same as the band's interpretations. They are mine as a professed Christian, as God has used this music to impact me. I sincerely hope and pray that the same will be true for you.

GOD CAN USE ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING FOR HIS GLORY.

A few years ago while younger in my Christian faith, I threw out all my secular CDs, feeling strongly that it was from God and that I had to get rid of every evil thing I owned. The music I listened to represented years of depression, sorrow and regret. Linkin Park, one of my favorite bands, was part of that music collection. However about two years ago, as my faith gained stability, I found myself led by the Holy Spirit to go back to listening to them again. Linkin Park's music used to aid me into welcoming thoughts of hopelessness, but lately I have found some of their songs literally bringing me to my knees.

The nice thing about Linkin Park's lyrical content in their music is that it is incredibly vague. They never use names, or describe specific situations, but purposefully make their lyrics as broad and general as possible. Anything specific is described using poetic imagery and symbolism, which allows any listener to interpret what they say for themselves.

In their song "The Catalyst", there is a lot of beautiful poetic imagery, which shows definite maturity for Chester Bennington and Mike Shinoda (the band's singers). The song has simple lyrics, many of them sung repeatedly, like a chant.

God bless us everyone, we're a broken people living under loaded gun,
and it can't be outfought, it can't be outrun, it can't be outmatched, it can't be outrun.
NO!

The band took a very bold step in this song, using the words "God" and "sins". People today, even in churches, don't like saying the word "sin". The same goes with the word "God." They oftentimes instead use words like "Higher Power" or "force". Even some Christian artists nowadays won't use those words in their lyrics, but Linkin Park flat out calls them as they are!

This verse emphasizes brokenness and hopelessness. In using "us", it shows that this is a whole group of people, probably society in general. This verse very accurately represents our world today. The words, "living under loaded gun" stress that these people are under the authority of evil and are being broken by it and are completely and utterly hopeless. They can't fight, they can't run, because they can't even match up to the incredible size of their oppressor. Romans 3:23 says, "All have sinned", and Jesus says, "Truly, truly I say to you, everyone who commits sin is a slave to sin" (John 8:34).

The words, "God bless us everyone", I don't think emphasize the fact that they are crying out to God, but I think they have more of a sarcastic tone to them. God has NOT blessed them. The people in this song are in pain. They don't feel blessed, they feel cursed! I think they do want blessing, and may even think that they have it or deserve it. Romans 6:23 says, "For the wages of sin is death." A wage is something you earn. Sin blinds us, deceives us and ultimately kills us.

And when I close my eyes tonight to symphonies of blinding light,
(God bless us everyone, we're a broken people living under loaded gun)
Like memories in cold decay, transmissions echoing away,
Far from a world of you and I, where oceans bleed into the sky.

The words here stress a hope for something more. The speaker portrayed in this DREAMS of a world filled with light, bliss and harmony. The light is even blinding. In the Bible, when certain people saw God, they saw blinding light. Paul was literally blinded by it when God showed up to him. The speaker longs for something bigger than they are. However, when the speaker opens his eyes in the morning after dreaming, he is back in this dark world he is trapped in. Whether we're Christian or not, we've all felt this way before. That bigger thing is the God of the Universe.

The old world is only a memory, one in "cold decay". Every memory progressively loses more of its luster as its "transmissions echo away." This was probably just how Adam felt during the ticking days after he was excommunicated from Eden. Adam was alive 930 years (Genesis 5:5). That is a lot of reflection time! He had no more face to face interaction with God. No more peace, and no more harmony. He became just like God (Gen. 3:5), and I'm sure he completely regretted it.

This is the state of humanity today. Once freely able to seek and serve the God who loves us, now in bondage by the sin that consumed us.

"The Catalyst" is written by Linkin Park, copyright 2010 Universal Music.

"It's better to be interested than interesting."

Let me paint a scenario for you....

You decide to log onto your AIM account for the first time in a long time and see one of your old friends from high school on. Just for kicks you decide to Instant Message her, say hi and catch up for old time's sake. You ask her, "How's it going?" and she responds like this: "Not much...my best friend committed suicide last week."

This was where I found myself a few years ago with an old friend of mine I'll just call Stephanie. Sitting there at that moment I immediately prayed, "God, what on earth do I say to this?! Do I tell her Jesus loves her? Do I tell her this person went to Hell and so she should embrace Jesus as her Savior while there's still time? (which I don't know for a fact by the way)."

It sounds ridiculous, but I prayed that prayer at that moment because I wanted to help! I wanted to say something to her to make her feel better, but absolutely nothing was coming to mind.

Then at that moment I had an epiphany: this girl didn't want answers, she just wanted ears. She may not have believed in Jesus as Lord and she may not have liked Christians, but for some reason at this moment she was opening up to me. Why? Because at that moment she trusted me to listen.

So I typed back, "Wow...how long did you know her?"

"My whole life."

"Are you doing okay?"

"Meh, I've been better."

"Yeah, I bet..."

Sometimes when people come to us, whether Christian or non-Christian, they aren't always looking for a sermon. Sometimes they are just looking for a pair of ears to listen, a pair of eyes to look at them with compassion, and a shoulder to lend if they want to cry on it (if you're talking with the opposite gender, proceed with caution, haha).

Yes people need Jesus, but do we always have to share Jesus with words? I think it is important to when the time is right. Speaking from experience, I actually spent plenty of time preaching to people when the time was wrong. And yeah, seeds were planted, but they will probably be growing in spite of me, not because of me. I actually did this with Stephanie in a later conversation, which is one of the reasons why she doesn't talk to me much anymore.

A beautiful example of this in the life of Jesus is when he approaches his dear friend Mary, who just lost her brother Lazarus. Mary is beside herself and immediately comes to Jesus, collapses at His feet, and says, "If you had been here, my brother would not have died" (John 11:32). Jesus at that moment could have preached to her and made similar statements like what he made to her sister Martha earlier, but instead He weeps.

At that moment, Jesus knew what was going to happen, but knew Mary did not need an answer. Mary just needed some sympathy, pity and comfort. And that's exactly what she got.

So next time you want to give advice to someone who comes to you with a problem, ask yourself and God if they are really looking for answers, or instead just for someone to listen to and cry with them. But if you screw up, it's okay, too. Jesus can and still will be glorified though you regardless!

God bless you,

Steve

"In the morning when I rise, give me Jesus."

"Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed." -Mark 1:35

This past week I started my new job at Sports Authority. While it is a blessing, it involves me getting up every morning, Monday thru Friday at 4:00am! I have to be at the store by 6:00 and it is in Farmington, which is roughly a 40 minute drive from my house.

One thing that has been nice is that in the morning while I'm driving there, I usually take time to pray. I pray about the Bible passage I read that morning, burdens for students, personal issues, whatever.

Yesterday morning I was reminded that Jesus used to get up early in the morning to pray too. He probably got up at around the same time I do. He would intentionally do it just to pray though, not because he had a job at 6am, like me. The context of that verse that I posted above was actually the morning after Jesus had a late night healing meeting. Jesus probably only had a quick power nap, but despite the fact that the previous night was so exhausting, He got up so He could start His day off right. He got up because He was willing to go through the whole day yawning as long as He spent adequate time with His Heavenly Father before starting a busy day of ministry.

I don't know about you, but for a guy who works a lot and loves sleep, that's challenging!

Need I say more?

I think not.

God bless,

Steve

How God Has Provided

So in a lot of my blog posts previously I was talking a lot about how things in life for me have been tight and hard and how I was attempting to "Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!" (Phil. 4:3). It was and still is hard to do that, and I even had some voices of concern from friends asking me if I am okay, which of course I appreciate. And for the record....I AM!

Now a few days ago after a really encouraging meeting with a friend who strongly urged me to keep pressing, I was driving home and praying on what he was talking about. This thought then popped in my head, "Has God ever let me down?"

I then reflected on my life, even before I even embraced Christ. The first time I prayed to God about something was when I was younger. As a kid, I had problems with asthma and we were going to an indoor kids playscape called The Great Escape. It dawned on me on the way there that I forgot to take my asthma medicine before going. Immediately I said a brief prayer asking God to not let me get an asthma attack and He answered it because I never got one that day!

Fast forward to high school. I was a depressed teenager who in the year up to that point actually developed a deep hatred for God. However, I had a recent breakup with a girl who told me, "I can't fix you. You need help!" That opened up my eyes for my need to make positive changes in my life. Sitting there in study hall, the thought dawned on me to just start praying to God. I basically prayed to Him for help and for security. Almost immediately I felt a sense of warmth and God's peace came over me. I then heard the words, "Everything will be okay. I'm here with you."

Then as I continued to walk with God in Jesus Christ, over and over He showed His faithfulness to me. He delivered me from a cutting addiction, depression, anti-depressants, a possible diagnosis of lyme disease (long story), and in many instances God has provided for me financially.

In addition, a few months ago after moving back home and still working a minimum wage delivery job at Storrs Drug, a local pharmacy, I was BARELY able to pay all my bills except my health insurance premium. In the months leading up to my training date at EDGE Corps, every consecutive month a check came in the mail for me to be able to successfully pay it off! The last one was even a check from a friend of mine who just strongly felt led to give a check to me.

Now currently, I am now technically a "part time" staff member for The Navigators. God has provided most of the funds for my August paycheck with them!

And now I come to God yet again asking for a part-time job, to be fully funded and for my knee to be healed. Otherwise not all my bills will be paid, especially the large bill for gas in driving to and from Willimantic almost daily. And on top of that I'll be crippled for the rest of my life (if God wants me to be that way, then all power to Him! I just hope He doesn't). Will God let me down?

Let me answer that by asking you this: Has God ever let me down?

For those of you who don't fully trust in God, have doubts about God, have fears about God, or just have doubts and fears PERIOD, you need to know that when you put your trust in God, He will NEVER let you down.

Let's close with some scriptures:

"And Moses said to the people, 'Fear not, stand firm, and see the salvation of the LORD, which he will work for you today. For the Egyptians whom you see today, you shall never see again. The LORD will fight for you, and you have only to be silent.'" -Exodus 14:13-14 (context is right before the parting of the Red Sea)

"Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." -Isaiah 41:10

"Strengthen the feeble hands, steady the knees that give way. Say to those with fearful hearts, 'Be strong, do not fear; your God will come, He will come with vengeance; with divine retribution He will come to save you." -Isaiah 35:3-4

"The LORD is with you when you are with Him. If you seek Him, He will be found by you, but if you forsake Him, He will forsake you." -2 Chronicles 15:2b

God bless,

Steve

Letters to God

Recently, I got to see a movie that my church showed called Letters to God. It was based on a true story about a young boy named Tyler who was diagnosed with cancer (no idea what type...I missed the beginning of the movie), who every night wrote reflective letters to God about struggles, victories, and sometimes just really random questions. What is peculiar, however, is that this boy, out of his simple mind, would actually fold the letter up, place it in an envelope, put a stamp on it and would give it to the mailman to send to God.

That mailman, named Brady, who basically was at a difficult place in life, was at first confused as to what to do with them, but over time he actually developed a deep relationship with the boy. As the story progressed, he finally found himself reading some of those letters, which he kept, and was deeply touched by the innocence and bravery of the boy. He then starts handing letters out to the community in the town and they all get very blessed by this young boy's heart, especially in his relationship with God.

What really spoke to me about this movie was the fact that this boy was not intentionally trying to reach his community with these letters. He was in reality just a son who frequently shared his heart with his Heavenly Father. However his love, bravery and honesty expressed in those letters blessed many people and is now blessing even more people years later!

What struck me about this movie is that this kid was not "intentional" in his evangelizing. He actually didn't even mean to reach out to people and draw them closer to God. He didn't go out on the streets and hand out his letters to people, and when he did hand his letter to the mailman, he wasn't expecting the mailman to read the letter, he was in his mind just thinking, "The mailman will get this to God."

Reaching people for Christ and impacting them in a significant way is actually in many ways more natural than one thinks. Christians don't always have to use the "Bridge Illustration" or the "Think You're a Good Person?" test. Sometimes you just have to be yourself and if you know and love Christ on a deep and personal level, your light in Him will just naturally shine!

"You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden." -Matthew 5:14

Here's a video for your encouragement. God bless!

-Steve

Gladys Aylward

"On the third day on my new job, I was sitting on my bed reading my Bible. I had now reached Nehemiah. I felt very sorry for him and understood why he wept and mourned when he heard about Jerusalem in its great need and could do nothing about it. He was a sort of butler and had to obey his employer just like I did, I thought. Then I turned to the second chapter. 'But he did go,' I exclaimed aloud, and got up, a strange elation within me. 'He went in spite of everything!'

As if someone was in the room, a voice said clearly, 'Gladys Aylward, is Nehemiah's God your God?'

'Yes, of course!' I replied.

'Then do what Nehemiah did, and go.'

'But I am not Nehemiah.'

'No, but assuredly I am his God.'

That settled everything for me. I believed these were my marching orders.

I put my Bible on the bed, beside it my copy of Daily Light and, at the side of that, all the money I had--2 1/2 pence (or two and a half cents). What a ridiculous little collection it seemed, but I said simply, 'O God, here's the Bible about which I long to tell others, here's my Daily Light that every day will give me a new promise and here is 2 1/2 pence. If You want me, I am going to China with these.'"

-from Gladys Aylward's autobiography, The Little Woman (emphasis added)

Gladys Aylward was a missionary to China in the 1930s and 40s. She had this amazing eagerness and a deep desire to reach the people in China for Christ. She was told a lot of her life leading up to this point that Chinese was too difficult of a language for her and that she would never make it over there. She battled with discouragement until that fateful night when she surrendered all she had: a Bible, a devotional book and 2 1/2 pence, the English equivalent of 2 1/2 pennies.

Right after Gladys prayed that prayer, there was a knock at the door and it was her mistress, asking her how much she paid to travel to London, where she was working as a maid. Her goal with this job was to save up enough money to get a train to China. Her mistress asked her how much it cost her to get to London and she replied that it cost her two shillings and nine pence. Then the mistress reimbursed her three shillings. Her 2 1/2 pence just increased significantly!

Long story short, Gladys worked her tail off and was able to get enough money to board a train to China, where she would ultimately do some amazing work in people's lives over there, especially in the lives of Chinese children.

What got Gladys over to China initially? Was it the money she collected? Was it the train she took? Was it the network of people she collaborated with?

NO! It was her faith. It was that moment when she said to God, "Here is everything, and I am Yours. Please God, get me to China, the place You have called me to be."

I completely understand Gladys because that is how I feel with this opportunity God has given me this coming year to work with college students at Eastern Connecticut State University and Manchester Community College.

Like Gladys, I don't have much right now. The only thing I feel like I do have is this desire inside of me to go over there.

I believe God is challenging me to be like Gladys, because Nehemiah's God is Gladys' God, and Gladys' God is my God!

God bless,

Steve

SILENT

A song by Flyleaf called "In The Dark" had this line in it: "I used to be afraid of cluttered noises, now I'm afraid of silence."

It's interesting how life nowadays is so filled with NOISE! We love noise and constantly crave it, especially now with wonderful technological advances that make listening to music incredibly easy. People can just turn on their iPods and plug in, pumping sound into their eardrums. For myself personally I cannot think of one time that I didn't have some song stuck in my head that I had listened to before.

There is so much noise everywhere we turn! Whether it's from our iPods, cars, computers, televisions, cell phones, bluetooths (blueteeth?), radios (yes people still do use those), and much more.

There are times when I literally have to will myself to silence. For example, a little known fact about when I write is that I always write while listening to music. It doesn't matter what music it is, but I just love the harmonious flow of my writing to the music I'm listening to. However for this post, I'm actually writing it in complete silence. No music, no YouTube videos, nothing. Just the sound of my keyboard pattering as I type it.

Here is a verse that God has been putting on my heart a lot lately: "The LORD will fight for you, and you have only to be silent" (Exodus 14:14). The context of this verse is actually an interesting one. The Israelites, a people under the slavery of Egypt for years have finally been liberated and Moses is leading them away. Suddenly off in the distance those people see Egyptian troops approaching with Pharaoh at the lead. Their faith and excitement instantly vanishes as they immediately start complaining to Moses wishing they were back in the "comforts" of Egypt.

Then Moses says those words to these doubting and complaining people. Shortly after he says them, God does an amazing thing never seen before on planet earth. For an entire night, He takes a massive body of water weighing several tons and parts it with a strong east wind. He doesn't just part the water on top of the sea floor either with that wind, but the wind is so strong that it dries the very ground underneath that sea. This causes it to be sturdy and walkable for thousands of scared Israelites to cross to safety.

Though it doesn't say what the reaction of the Israelites was as this water parted, I wouldn't be surprised if there was an eerie hush over that crowd all night as they sat and watched the handiwork of the massive God they serve.

Has anyone ever felt like God has totally given up on them? Has anyone ever felt trapped by the circumstances around them wondering how they are ever going to get out?

For me, I have been there and I would be lying if I said I wasn't there now. I explained in my last post this dilemma I find myself in. I feel God has called me to minister to students at Eastern Connecticut State University (ECSU) and Manchester Community College (MCC). I say this because He got me this far already. In getting accepted to the EDGE Corps program, in being selected to go to these campuses I looked at them as signs of God's sovereign will and plan for this chapter of my life.

And now, here I stand looking out at this massive body of water filled with doubt, fear, discouragement, and maybe even depression. On the opposite shore is ECSU and MCC: two campuses that desperately need to hear the good news of Jesus Christ. I have made calls, I have set appointments, and I have sent out letters. I have in many ways done everything I possibly can, and I will still do everything I possibly can.

However, according to that verse, God will fight for me. And right now, I have only to be silent, to wait. Wait on the sovereign and loving hand of God to make His move.

So what's it gonna be, Lord? I say that not in a challenging way, but in a trusting way.

God can move on these people's hearts. He can do it in New England, Florida, Texas, Ohio, California, Seattle, wherever He wants to, and if this is His will, which I believe that it is, then He will move.

Do you want to donate? Then right now make sure that God does. It is His money, not yours. If you don't believe in Christ and want to give then well...God bless you for your honesty and your charitable heart.

Time is short, but God is good.

God bless,

Steve

The "S" Word

SIN! We don't like to talk about it. We like talking about the love of Jesus more than the presence of sin in our own hearts and lives. We as people do not like looking at our own sin. We avoid it and it makes us feel awkward and exposed. We don't like being exposed. Christian Science, a religion I grew up in, actually believes that sin is an illusion. Isn't that crazy?

I think it is, because sin is most definitely NOT an illusion. If you put a child in a room alone with a freshly painted wall with a sign next to it saying, "DO NOT TOUCH! WET PAINT!" I guarantee you that child will touch that wall.

Sin is real. It's in you, and it's in me. It's been in us ever since Adam and Eve deliberately disobeyed God by eating fruit from a tree. Some people call that a fairy tale, and I'm not going to lie, in a way it sounds like it. However the more I look at myself and my sin, the more I see the reality of what Adam did on that tree.

What's crazy about sin and how it affects us is that we not only do terrible things, but we encourage other people to do terrible things too. It's in our nature to make other people stumble. In Isaiah 53:6 it says, "We all like sheep have gone astray, we have turned every one to his own way." Also in Romans 1:32, Paul says about us, "They know God's decree that those who practice such things deserve to die, they not only do them but give approval to those who practice them." Remember though Paul says "they" in this verse, he is not discounting himself or looking at himself as being less sinful than them. The rest of his letter to the Romans makes that clear.

Now, you probably read in that Romans verse that "those who practice such things deserve to die." It sounds extreme, right? We deserve death? Why? What did we do?

It's funny because we say death is an extreme punishment for doing wrong against God, but have we ever wished death on someone who has done wrong to us? We love seeing justice and seeing people get what they deserve for the crimes they've committed. Someone does wrong against us and we demand that justice be served against them. We watch Law & Order, see the bad guy go down and we love it. However as soon as the justice card is flipped on us, we get defensive and say that it's too extreme. That is a flaw in our logic and it is a result of our sin.

So we're all sinners. It's in our nature and we're born right into it. God is perfect and despises sin, so by default God should despise us. Is there a solution? Are we just left to rot in the filth of our own immorality?

The second part of that verse in Isaiah 53:6 says this, "and the LORD has laid on Him the iniquity of us all." Who is this "Him"? It's Jesus Christ! God sent His only Son on a rescue mission to save our souls. So God should despise us, but in reality God loves us deeply and desires to restore us not only from our own sin, but also to Himself. The perfect God of the universe actually wants a relationship with us, the sinful people. So He sent Jesus to live a sinless life and then He died a brutal death on a cross, bearing not only the physical pain of His execution, but more importantly the spiritual pain of the wrath of God that we deserve.

So what should we do? I'll close with the chorus of a favorite hymn:

"Turn your eyes upon Jesus,

Look full in His wonderful face.

And the things of earth will grow strangely dim,

In the light of His glory and grace."

God bless,

Steve

Happy Happy Joy Joy

So lately times have been tough for me. And when I say tough, I don't necessarily mean horrible, like stuff is falling apart at the seams. Things have just been a little on the inconvenient side. For one thing, money has been tight. I just barely pay the bills, and when I say barely I mean BARELY. I start fundraising for Edgecorps in the fall, but to tell you the truth, I'm broker than an Edgecorps intern right now. I know God will provide, but this tight financial situation gets annoying sometimes.

I also drive A LOT. I drive 35 minutes to work at a pharmacy, get there and then drive around again for 2-3 hours because I'm a delivery driver. Then after that I either drive back home or drive 20 minutes to Willimantic to see people at Eastern. Even on Sunday, my day off from work, I drive because my home church is in Willimantic. Driving gets old fast sometimes, especially because it's my job.

Like I said I'm starting ministry in the fall and starting training and fundraising in June, but until then I'm just sitting and waiting. I'm not going to lie, I get a little impatient sometimes.

However who is on the throne? God is. Who has the best intentions for me no matter what happens? God does. The thing I love about the Bible is that it's full of flawed, real individuals who all fall short of God's standards. There are people in there who have no problem asking God, "Why is this happening to me?" They aren't disrespecting Him, they just want to know. It also has people who even though they don't even hear a direct answer from God on why it's happening, they continue to rejoice in God's provision and grace. It's amazing!

Now I'm also a music guy. God speaks to me a lot through songs and one of them lately has been a song by a hip-hop artist named K-Drama. The song has a clip from the classic Nickelodeon Show Ren and Stimpy and it's called "Happy, Happy, Joy, Joy." It's kind of a goofy song, but it's a good one to listen to for a good laugh if you're having a bad day. A good line from it that K-Drama drops goes like this:

"My car CD player broke, so did my portable.

My phone freezes up because of the car,

Guess it's no longer supportable.

Plus the screen on my TV cracked,

Call it a crack bail.

Rent's due next week, sometimes it's that scary!

Money's short, bills are high, dishes stackin' to the sky,

Toilet leakin' on the carpet, landlord leaves me and I want to cry.

But no matter the depth, and no matter the length,

The joy of the Lord is my strength!

HOLLA AT YA BOY!"

So sometimes things just get frustrating, things just get annoying, but in coming to God as we are, He gives us that joy and that strength to make it through. One of my favorite verses goes like this:

"Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the LORD, I will be joyful in God my Savior. The Sovereign LORD is my strength; he makes my feet like the feet of a deer, he enables me to go on the heights. For the director of music. On my stringed instruments." -Habakkuk 3:17-19

So God's got my back and He's on the throne. I wouldn't want to have it any other way. HOLLA AT YA BOY!

God bless,

Steve

God's Healing Touch

This post is one I think will be appropriate because I just came from a service where they were laying hands on people believing that God would heal them. There were no immediate manifestations of healing tonight, but the man who was praying over people was encouraging them to keep the faith in Christ and to keep trusting that He will heal them. That's what this post concerns. By the way, this is another one of those posts that is a reminder to me. It seems to be a common theme lately....

Now before I get into this, I need to make a disclaimer. If you read these following words and think that I am "such an amazing person" and "an inspiration", I humbly say thank you for your encouragement, but I will remind you that the amazingness and inspiration that I have is a blessing from Christ. It is not my talent that I have achieved through hard work, but a blessing from God out of His love and grace for me. So do me a favor after you read this: don't thank me, thank God.

Last summer I needed a breakthrough. I was a few days away from leaving for ministry at a summer camp and I could barely get out of bed. I was getting hot and cold flashes, my mind was racing, I was physically weak and my neck was in such pain that I couldn't even turn my head without wincing. I was getting no more than four hours of sleep a night too.

My neck was hurting since my last physical therapy visit, and I called them for another one but they were all backed up with appointments and couldn't see me until Thursday morning, two days before I was leaving. I went to the doctor about my hot and cold flashes and they told me that I may have lyme disease. For some strange reason though they decided not to test me, but told me to wait until Thursday and if it didn't get any better and then I would come in to get tested. Like I said before, I was leaving for camp on Saturday. I didn't have time to deal with a lyme disease test! I needed a breakthrough!

There was a revival service at a church in Groton with an evangelist named Jason Westerfield. I went to the service Tuesday night and was desperate for God to heal me. I spent the whole night at the altar begging God for a breakthrough. Jason came up to me too and was laying hands on me, praying that God would heal my neck and everything. He told me to move my neck and asked if it was any better. I moved it and winced. It wasn't. I left that night feeling absolutely discouraged.

I carpooled with my friend Dave to the service and I voiced my frustrations to him in the car. "Why wasn't God healing me?" I said to him.
I don't remember what the exact words that Dave said were, but they were something along the lines of "Steve, do you believe God can heal you?"
What Dave was saying to me in the most loving and blunt way he could was that I wasn't trusting God enough to heal me. It was true. I had doubts like crazy. I didn't believe that He could heal me. I wanted to believe, but I couldn't. I went to bed again that night, once more having no more than four hours of sleep as my mind was racing and I had hot and cold flashes all night long.

All day the next day I was lying down at home on the couch in my living room wrestling with my thoughts. Dave called me again to check in on me and asked me if I was going to go back to the church again that night. The revival services were a week-long affair and they were having another one. I told him honestly that I didn't want to. Dave then told me honestly that I should get off my butt and go. I rolled my eyes and said I'd think about it.

As I hung up the phone, I sighed. I realized Dave was right. I looked up to the ceiling and said, "God I'm having a really hard time believing this whole healing thing right now is true."
My eyes went over to my Bible. "I guess I'll start from the beginning..."
I picked up my Bible and placed it in my lap.
"Hi God, I need You."

That night I decided to go to the revival service. It was a real leap of faith for me to even go because I didn't know where the church was, I was really physically weak, and Dave couldn't carpool with me over there because he was caught up in something else and would meet me at the service later. So I drove there using Mapquest directions and made it there okay.

The service that night was really long! It started off with roughly an hour of intense prayer, then it went into worship, which was another hour. Then after that, Jason preached a message for ANOTHER hour and there was MORE worship! When he finished it was getting late and I was getting very weak. I could barely even sit up in the pew anymore. How was I supposed to make it back home? I then prayed silently to God that He needed to heal me tonight, otherwise I wasn't even going to be able to make it home.

Finally, Jason decided to do some prayer for healings. This was it! He had people come up who needed it and then assigned other members of the congregation to lay hands on them. I had two guys come up to me and ask me what my problem was. I told them my whole story about my pains, my weakness and how I absolutely needed a breakthrough. So they laid hands on me and started praying. I was so desperate at this point that I started kneeling on the ground and weeping. As they were praying for me, I was almost convulsing. It was pretty crazy, but like I said, I was desperate. I didn't care about how I looked or anything. The only thing I cared about was God breaking through to heal me.

They asked me to move my neck and everything. I did and it still hurt just as bad as it did before. We all kept praying for God to break through and give me His healing touch. Jason then took a glance at his watch, saw it was late and decided to wrap up the service. I was still weak and in pain, but I felt a little better. The service wrapped up, I said my goodbyes to people and I left.

God gave me just enough strength to get home, go up three stories to my apartment into my room, put on my PJs, collapse on my bed and fall asleep. That night was the first night in a long time where I slept more than four hours. I actually didn't wake up once until roughly 7:00 in the morning. My physical therapy appointment was at 9:00 so I had to get up and going. As I got up I realized that I was a lot better! I didn't feel physically weak at all. My neck still hurt a lot, but I actually felt normal again.

At the physical therapy appointment, I told the therapist what the problem was with my neck and how tense it was. He then did a series of extensive massages on it, which really hurt a lot, but after he finished my neck was 100% better!

God had healed me! I was shocked at God's goodness and provision. It was the first time ever in my life that I had received a healing like that from God. He knew how much I doubted, being an ex-Christian Scientist and all (NOTE: For more information on Christian Science, visit ChristianWay.org), but He still met me where I was at in my doubts and healed me. It was an amazing experience.

I told this story for two reasons. The first one was for me, because I needed a little bit of a reminder of God's healing touch. The second one was of course, for you. I know a lot of people who don't follow Christ for whatever reason, but try to be all "intellectual" about it, and avoid their brokenness by asking me theological questions. Questions are good, don't get me wrong, but sometimes instead of questioning you have to just jump in and trust that God will catch you.

God will too, because He loves His kids.

This was a long post. If you made it here, thank you for reading. Now thank God for His unconditional, never-ending, undeserving affection that He has for you!

Peace,

Steve

"All to Jesus, I surrender...."

"All to Jesus I surrender;
Humbly at His feet I bow,
Worldly pleasures all forsaken;
Take me, Jesus, take me now."

Deep words from a classic hymn. Merry Christmas everyone! I hope you all have a wonderful Christmas remembering the birth of our precious Savior Jesus Christ.

Something I love doing is beatboxing. It's just a lot of fun to be able to try and make the same sounds that you hear out of a turntable or a mixer in your mouth. One of the things I do from time to time to help inspire me in that area is I watch some amazingly talented beatboxers performing on YouTube. Some good ones I know of are Beardyman, Eklips, Rakim, Schlomo, and the beatboxing duo Humanism from Japan. These guys all have a wonderful talent. Look them up if you want.

But let me ask you this....does their talent matter? Does it seriously matter that these guys are some of the hottest beatboxers out there? Does it matter that day in and day out these guys practice their craft, molding it and shaping it; perfecting it? Does any of that stuff matter?

Our life on this planet is short. Like it or not, you're going to die soon. We're all going to die soon. It could be tomorrow or it could be in 60 years, but eventually we all are going to be dead, buried and gone. Our legacies won't last very long either. Probably at the very most a few hundred years if we leave that big of an impact.

Here's an excerpt from a man who was probably the richest person materialistically speaking on the planet. He had everything he wanted and more: big houses, hot women, lots of gold, popularity, and this guy was smart too. He had wisdom that could make any wise man's jaw drop. Probably the wisest guy who ever lived. This is what this guy wrote. You ready?
"Yet when I surveyed all that my hands had done
and what I had toiled to achieve,
everything was meaningless, a chasing after the wind;
nothing was gained under the sun." -Ecclesiastes 2:11

Meaningless? Really? This man was King Solomon. This man by the world's standards had everything and more and it meant absolutely nothing to him. It left him empty, cold and alone.

Michael Jackson recently passed away this past year. There were millions of people all over the world mourning and weeping over his death. There was a movie put out about him and everyone was saying how revolutionary this guy was to pop music and performance. Yes, I agree he was. He was one talented performer and had an energy to his performance that changed how people viewed pop culture.

But that brings me back to this question....Does it matter?

No, not really. Michael Jackson's legacy will vanish in a few decades at least.

This isn't a "how will people remember you" message at all, because honestly people won't remember you, or me, or anyone. People won't be "ooo-ing" and "aah-ing" over these blog posts in the next few hundred years, I guarantee it.

Do you want to do something that matters? Surrender your life to Jesus Christ. Lay down your life before Him. Give Him everything and call Him Lord.

Why? What has Jesus Christ ever done for me? Tomorrow we celebrate Christmas. What is Christmas?

"This is mind blowing, the God of the universe,
Knows every star in the sky to my human hurts.
Made the trees, made the breeze, made the seas,
Emcees like Jay and me.
But let me tell you what amazes me:
That He came as a man who was made to need."
-Lecrae in "Who Is He" by Json

Christmas is the celebration of Jesus Christ, a man who went on a rescue mission to save mankind. Man rejects God in every way, shape and form. You're a man? You reject God. You don't love Him. Your nature is to hate Him. It's in your blood. It's called sin. It will ultimately kill you if you hold onto it.

God could have rejected man. You know what He did instead? He sent His Son, Jesus Christ humbly as a servant into this world. He lived as a righteous man and blessed a lot of people during His life. He wasn't some big rich man like Solomon. He was actually poor by the world's standards. His first bed was a feeding trough that horses ate out of. His first house was a barn in a small town called Bethlehem. He lived His life humbly and simply as a carpenter by trade. At times, He was homeless and lived constantly on the move. And then one day, He died.

He wasn't a victim at all in His death because He willingly gave up His life going through the most brutal execution method ever invented: crucifixion. What was even worse though was that God the Father turned His back on His Son, the righteous man. Why? Because on that cross Jesus Christ became sin. He became every bad thing we have ever done.

Why did He do this? He did this for us! The God of the universe who is A LOT bigger than us and sees us as worthless specks, especially after we decided to reject Him, was and still is filled with love and compassion for us. This can only be explained by the fact that He chose to be that way. He chose to be with us and to rescue us, not because we're so great and valuable, but because we're not.

He rescued us. We're set free. That's what matters. We are set free when we make Jesus Christ Lord. Beatboxing doesn't matter, fame doesn't matter, sex doesn't matter, drugs don't matter, Christmas presents don't matter, NONE OF THAT MATTERS!

Jesus Christ matters.

Give your life to Him. Please....Don't live your life thinking that "you're fine with the big guy" because you're a "good person" who does "good things". Maybe you do good things. But they don't matter if they're not for Jesus. Please, give your life to Him. He gave His life for you. That is your Christmas present. Now give Jesus Christ His.....you.

Merry Christmas,

Steve

Epaphroditus

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! I hope all your holidays were filled with good times, great oldies, and lots of turkey. If you're a vegetarian or a non-birdian...I'm sorry for your loss. Just kidding.

So lately I've been really getting into Paul's letter to the Philippians. It has been a book in the Bible that God has really used to speak to me. If you get a chance, definitely read that book. I bet you could do it in one sitting.

Anyways there is a part in Philippians 2 when Paul really focuses in on this man Epaphroditus. Now the context of this letter is that Paul is in a Roman jail. In Roman jails you don't get cable TV, weights, time outside, or three square meals a day like you do here in American jails. In those days you would be living in this solitary cell in something similar to a sewer, which reeks of human waste. On top of that, the Roman government doesn't want to invest a single cent for providing food or medical care for you so the only people who can actually do that are your close friends and/or family members. You would definitely be in need. If you were in Paul's shoes, you didn't have any family members. But the Philippian church heard about their old pastor Paul's needs and decided to provide for him by sending him food and supplies through Epaphroditus, a humble servant and messenger.

Epaphroditus literally risked life and limb to bring Paul those supplies. On top of that, he got sick with the swine flu (haha not really) and almost died in the arms of Paul. Thankfully God spared him and healed him, but it was a pretty difficult time for both of them.

This is a REALLY long intro, but please bear with me. So the church heard about Epaphroditus' sickness and was absolutely devastated about him. I bet they were fasting and praying for some sort of a breakthrough for their friend and brother. Then somehow Epaphroditus heard that they know about his sickness and it caused him to be devastated too!

In the original Greek, Paul uses the same word to describe Paul's devastation that Matthew and Mark use to describe Jesus' devastation in the Garden of Gethsemane before his crucifixion. Jesus says so Himself to His beloved friends who fall asleep on Him as He's praying that He is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Jesus was a mess in the Garden and that same heavy feeling that Jesus felt, Epaphroditus also felt for his friends and family back home who were burdened for his burden.

And my question is this: WHY?!

Why on earth did Epaphroditus feel that way? Shouldn't he have been thankful or relieved that these people back home were praying for him? I would have. It would have made me feel amazing knowing that my friends back home were praying for me in my trial. I know at times when I was going through trials, hearing that friends were praying for me brought me great comfort. But for some really strange reason Epaphroditus was absolutely distraught at this news.

WHY?!

It's interesting because a lot of commentaries on Philippians don't answer that question. So I'll do my best to do so. Epaphroditus has an incredibly deep love for his brothers and sisters back home. Remember the most important commandments Jesus talked about? He said we should love God with all our hearts, souls, minds, and strength and that we should love our neighbors as ourselves. Yes, loving our neighbors as ourselves. That's a HUGE commandment that is very difficult to do. The word "love" that Jesus used wasn' t just that "friendship" kind of love, nor was it that "romantic" kind of love. It was unconditional, deep love. It was the love that God through Jesus Christ has for us.

In Philippians, Paul says Epaphroditus longs for all of them (2:26). The Greek word used for that longing is a deep word that Peter also uses later in 1 Peter to describe a baby's deep desire for milk (1 Peter 2:2). So Epaphroditus craved the company of his brothers and sisters back in Philippi like a hungry baby craves milk. I think Epaphroditus in this sense has successfully obeyed that commandment to love your neighbor as yourself. He longed for his brothers and sisters. He cried out to God for them a lot, I'm sure, during his journey and was doing it even more when he found out that they knew of his sickness.

I think of scenes in movies when the hero is about to do something crazy that may kill him, but right before he does it he tells his friend, "Don't tell my wife about this..." The hero lovingly cared about his wife's emotional stability. He didn't want his wife to be up late worrying about him.

That was Epaphroditus. He loved these people deeply. He didn't want them to be worried about him in his sickness because he knew there were more important things in stake than his health and well-being. The kingdom had to be advanced and he was willing to give up everything for it. Paul later in his letter told the church that they should respect him greatly for having that mindset because that is the mindset every believer should have. So Epaphroditus didn't want the church to worry.

Here's a challenging question: is that you?

I sincerely doubt it. I mean it's not me at all and I'm writing this! This is another one of those blog posts that is me preaching to myself. I just felt like it was appropriate for you to listen in. Here's something great though:

I'll give you one more scene, which is in John 15:15-19, and I'll use Greek again. This is AMAZING! The scene is that Peter had just majorly screwed up. He told Jesus that he promised he would be there for Him even if it meant death and he broke that promise and denied ever knowing Him three times. Then Jesus Christ after He resurrected came to Peter and asked him three times, "Do you love me?" In response Peter said, "You know I love you Jesus."

Now in Greek there are four different words used to describe love. The love that Jesus asked Peter about the first two times is an unconditional love; that strong, committed, "I'll love you no matter what" kind of love. The word for love that Peter uses in his response is a friendship, lylab (love you like a brother) kind of love. It was the same word that Jesus used earlier in his life to describe the Pharisees and how they loved to pray to God out in public dramatically for attention (see Matt. 6:5). In other words, Peter wasn't ready for that kind of commitment.

And maybe that's you right now. This is what Jesus asked Peter the third time: "Do you just love me as a friend then?" He stooped down to Peter's level with his hardened heart and met him where he was at. A friendship love was all Peter had to offer and Jesus Christ accepted it. Jesus DID work in Peter a lot and gave him that kind of love and affection for Jesus as well, which is absolutely amazing. Peter left this world crucified upside down on a cross because he refused to be silent about the good news of Jesus Christ. He held onto Jesus Christ with everything he had because he DID unconditionally love his Lord and Savior, and it was through his Lord and Savior that he was able to have that love.

My friend, GOD LOVES YOU! You're so incredibly messed up and it is all your fault but God out of the goodness of His heart is pursuing you. He is so desperate for your affection that He gave His only Son up for you so that you can be forgiven of all the bad things you've done. You need to humble yourself and ask for that though. Come to God as you are just like Peter did. Actually, to tell you the truth, God came to Peter, and I think God is coming to you right now asking, "[Insert your name here], do you love Me?"

What will you say? Even if it's not unconditional like God's love is, saying you love Him as a friend is a start. Give your life to Him. Come to Him as you are. Do it.

This is really long, but think about it. Happy Thanksgiving!

God bless,

Steve

I have to give major props to BlueLetterBible.org for this entry. Check that website out. It's such a great study tool for the Bible and it's FREE! That's where I got all those Greek words and commentaries.