God's Word

"When you or I open the Bible, we are beholding the very words of God--words that have supernatural power to redeem, renew, refresh, and restore our lives to what he created them to be. That is why I believe it is more important for you and me to read Leviticus than for us to read the best Christian book ever published, because Leviticus has a quality and produces an effect that no book in the Christian marketplace can compete with. If we want to know the glory of God, if we want to experience the beauty of God, and if we want to be used by the hand of God, then we must live in the Word of God." -from the book, Radical by David Platt

In the book of Nehemiah Chapter 8, there was a powerful scene after Jerusalem was rebuilt. All Israel was gathered together to hear the Book of the Law read by Ezra the scribe. It said that Ezra read it “from early morning to midday” (8:3). In a sermon Pastor Mark Driscoll gave on this scene, he called it a “six hour sermon”, and after the Book was read there were also other men who helped the people of Israel understand the words they were hearing.

What I think is amazing about these people is that they were truly in a state of hunger for the scriptures of God. They desired deeply to hear God's Word and were willing to bear sitting in hot desert heat from early morning to midday to hear it. On top of that they were willing to then hear others instruct them on what the Law actually said.

In Psalm 119 we find the individual who wrote it in a similar state as these people were. He said things like, “I have stored up Your word in my heart that I might not sin against You,” (v. 11) or this powerful statement, “My soul clings to the dust, give me life according to Your Word” (v. 25). He understood that God's Word gives direction: “Your Word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path” (v. 105).

Where is our hunger for God's Word like that? We have God's Word in different versions and languages and access to the original Greek and Hebrew manuscripts. Christians in North Korea, where the Bible is considered the most dangerous book to own (they can get killed if they have a copy of it), desire so greatly to have what we have!

God's Word is perfect. Contrary to popular opinion, there are no contradictions in it. God's Word is deep. One could read it a thousand times and on the thousand and first, discover something new and exciting from it!

God's Word is pure. In being "breathed out by God" (2 Tim. 3:16), scripture is the most real material you can find. It's not watered down or censored in any way. God's Word tells things like they are. I own a copy of the Qu'ran and a copy of the Book of Mormon. I can read them for about two seconds before I get bored. No lie. Those books are dry. Why are they dry? Because they don't satisfy! (oo that rhymes!) God did not breathe out the Book of Mormon nor did He breathe out the Qu'ran.

Let's look back at our friends in Israel as Ezra is reading the Book of the Law, which includes Leviticus. It is probably one of the hardest books to read in the whole Bible because it is just a massive set of rules...some of which don't really directly apply to us anymore (ex. sacrifices, priestly cleansings, offerings, etc.). However there is a richness and depth of truth in Leviticus that is not found in The Shack, The Pursuit of God, My Utmost for His Highest, Irresistable Revolution, Mere Christianity or even in most Christian music today.

These people of Israel described in the book of Nehemiah had not heard the Book of the Law read in a long time. Probably their entire lives. Can you imagine what that must have been like to them? No wonder they were sitting and listening so intently! They craved scripture like a baby craved milk. They wanted it! They cheered for it! Is that us? Or do we instead cheer that loudly for our favorite Christian band, go ga-ga over The Shack, or make our own version of the Gospel according to The Irresistable Revolution (For the record...both those books are very good books. The Bible is just better!).

God's Word existed before this planet did and it will exist long after this planet dies. God's Word became flesh two thousand years ago and came on this earth for thirty three years, pursuing us, the people who rejected Him and died for us a brutal death on a cross so we could seek Him without hindrance. God's Word paid the price that we owed for our sins. God's Word is easily avaiable for us. Why don't we read and seek God's Word more often?

Christmas Reflections

Earlier tonight I was able to watch The Nativity Story with some close friends. Though it really wasn't exactly how things went down as they were recorded in scripture, it at least gave people a feel for the basic story as well as a very accurate glimpse into what the culture of those days was like.

One thing that has really been standing out to me this Christmas season is the faith of Mary and Joseph in the nine months building up to Jesus' birth. In Mary's time, living in an extremely conservative and legalistic culture, she risked the possibility of being beaten and stoned to death, losing her husband, and reputation for coming back home from a long trip being pregnant.

In Luke 1, it said that after Mary got visited by Gabriel and became pregnant by the power of the Holy Spirit, she sang a beautiful and theologically rich song of praise to God. It highlighted how she trusted in His sovereignty over her present situation. The scriptures never mentioned, however, any feelings of doubt, fear or anxiety Mary felt afterward. Did that mean she never went through them? Come on now, she's human! Of course Mary must have battled with some doubts, especially when she came back and saw Joseph's shocked face at the fact her belly was bigger than when they last saw each other.

Then of course one must think of her parents. I bet they were a little concerned too! In the situation she was in once she got home, Elizabeth, her cousin with whom she could definitely sympathize with and vent to, was nowhere in sight. She was alone with her faith.

Have you been like that before? Maybe you're the only Christian in your family this Christmas. It's tough, right? Maybe your family just cares about opening presents, drinking egg nog, maybe "sparking" that nog a bit, then getting drunk and passing out. The last thing they want to rejoice over is Jesus' birth. Probably the only time they say the words "Jesus Christ" is when they're upset. People around you don't understand you. They may even be judging you and making fun of you behind your back.

I guarantee you, though scripture doesn't record it, Mary was there. Nazareth was a small town and I'm sure word got out that Mary came back from her long trip pregnant.

Or maybe you had a set plan this past year of what you wanted to do with your life, but a monkey wrench got thrown into it. That was Joseph. He had the woman of his dreams, a steady job, and a house. Then all of a sudden his plans got thwarted because Mary came home pregnant AND the Roman government tells him he has to go back to Bethlehem, where he was born, and register for the census. He then had to take his very pregnant new wife who he can't even have sex with across rocky desert terrain with little food and water and a high risk of attack by thieves on the roads. Not exactly the plan he was thinking of, eh?

But they both took that journey together in faith knowing that this was from God and that He would provide for their every need.

I can tell you one thing....I did NOT expect this past year to turn out the way it did.

I had a plan: quit Storrs Drug, join EDGE Corps, fundraise all summer, be fully funded, get housing locally in Willimantic, start a Bible Study with non-Christians on campus at Eastern, help the Bible clubs on both the ECSU and MCC campuses grow, and disciple a few students.

That was NOT what happened at all. I only raised 21% of my full-time salary. It was such a stressful time over the summer raising support, that I never even got around to finding a place locally in Willimantic over the summer. No Bible Study was ever started at Eastern this past semester with non-Christians. I can only count on one hand the amount of deep spiritual conversations I had with them. The Bible clubs on both the MCC and ECSU campuses went through some hard months this semester and there was a decline in the spiritual morale and general population of both clubs. Lastly, since I was only on each campus once a week on average, I only was able to start a steady discipling relationship with one student. The rest of the discipling relationships I had fell apart because those students lost spiritual interest.

On top of that, there have been new and tough convictions placed in my heart concerning discipleship, church, what it means to be truly SOLD OUT for Christ, and much more. They are still things that I'm still trying to understand. However, just like Joseph and Mary, I want to take a deep step of faith this year. I have NO idea what this coming year will look like. I have no idea what even this coming month will look like!

For those of you who supported me this past year, thank you so much once again for your prayers, your advice, words of wisdom and encouragement, financial contributions and of course....MY HOUSING! A wonderful surprise this past year was not only when I was going to move more locally, but where. I did not see myself AT ALL living where I am now, and I am deeply thankful for it.

This Christmas, though circumstances are crazy, I thank God for the blessings He has given me. This past year throughout all the financial hardship, I never went broke, hungry or homeless. I gained new friends and became closer with existing friends. God has been good in more ways than I could have ever dreamed.

This Christmas, take a quiet moment away from family and the busyness. Reflect on God's goodness and grace. Reflect on HIS SON going from limitless God of the universe not bound by space and time to an infant who could only cry and poop, who spent His first night on earth in a feeding trough to start a rescue mission for our souls!

Merry Christmas!

-Steve

Linkin Park - "What I've Done"

"I've drawn regret from the truth of a thousand lies, so let mercy come and wash away what I've done." -Linkin Park from their song "What I've Done"

A long time ago when I used to listen to Linkin Park, I was a depressed teenager who used the music I listened to in fueling my rage and depression. I went through a season in my Christian walk where I had to get rid of every ounce of that music in order to find wholeness and healing, which included Linkin Park. However recently, now that I have been having a more stable root in Christ, have been able to revisit a lot of their songs with a more Christ-centered perspective that has literally caused me to enter into a spirit of worship. Their single that came out a few years ago called, "What I've Done" off of their album Minutes to Midnight talks a lot about repentance and letting go of past regrets or...dare I say it...SINS!

The music video for this song is very powerful. Joseph Hahn, the man behind the turntables for the band, also directed this video along with most of the other videos that Linkin Park has come out with. He does a great job in directing them and this video is no exception. I loved the series of images that were put into the video. They all flowed so harmoniously, showing in many ways the sins of society, particularly America. What's interesting is how the images flow to really get across some humbling messages. For example in the first chorus they showed images of lepers and hungry people then a sign saying, "EAT" and a boy stuffing his face. What a sobering image of corporate America today. While we are getting fat off fast food, millions are starving in other countries across the world.

Now for the record, Linkin Park does not call themselves a Christian band. From what I heard, almost every member of the band calls themselves some form of "Christian", except Brad Delson, the guitarist who is Jewish and Chester Bennington, who is an agnostic. Does that impact the meaning behind this video in any way? It could...

Now let's talk about the lyrics. What I've noticed about Linkin Park's lyrics is how they are very "general" in what they are talking about in order to appeal to a wider audience. For example, if a Christian like me wants to get a good message out of this, he can go right ahead!

The lyrics really talk about turning away from the old and starting over by embracing the new."'In this farewell, there's no blood, there's no alibi, 'cause I've drawn regret from the truth of a thousand lies."

The speaker in the lyrics feels no regret whatsoever in turning away, but only regret in what they have done. They realized that the life they were living before was filled with "a thousand lies." That is the story of every Christian today. They realized that the life they were living before was completely meaningless. In Ecclesiastes, Solomon, who is a bitter, old, repentant man comes to this conclusion: I have seen all the things that are done under the sun; all of them are meaningless, a chasing after the wind" (Eccl. 1:14). Everything that this world has to offer by itself is worthless. It's meaningless. The only truth about these things is that they are filled with "a thousand lies" of true satisfaction and meaning. These things won't bring meaning! They will leave you empty.

Then we come to the pre-chorus: "So let mercy come and wash away what I've done." This person wants mercy! Isn't that a beautiful picture? It is just like that picture Jesus painted of that tax collector at the temple beating his chest saying, "God have mercy on me, a sinner!" (Luke 18:13). We want mercy, we crave it. The speaker in this song is similar to that tax collector. They want mercy to come and wash away what they did. What's interesting is that mercy does not just come from within. It comes from someone else: Jesus Christ, the one who made mercy possible in the first place.

In the chorus the speaker talks about facing themselves, manning up to their mistakes and hoping to cross out what they did. What Chester Bennington doesn't realize yet, is that WE can't cross out what we did, but only Jesus can. However we should humble ourselves, lay down our lives and ask God, "What can I do with this? Give me some steps to set me free!" Repentance isn't just feeling bad and apologizing. It's a process of actively turning away.

In the second verse it makes reference to putting to rest what others think of us. Repentance isn't always welcomed with joy by others. Sometimes people don't get it. Sometimes it hurts!A few years ago I realized I was in a morally compromising relationship with another girl and had to let her go. She didn't understand and neither did her friends. I lost not only her, but her friends as well. In repentance, we need to do whatever it takes and burn whatever bridges we can. Even if some short-term results are loneliness and isolation as we attempt to find a new group of friends to hang out with. I've met people who have seen their sin, but refuse to let it go and embrace Jesus for fear of what their friends might think of them.

The speaker then refers to "hands of uncertainty". When we first start repenting from issues that literally were our lives, it doesn't initially make sense. We just know in our hearts that it's wrong and I have to get rid of it. The desire doesn't exactly go away either. We may be going the rest of our lives warring with images in our heads and desires in our hearts to turn back to those sins. We may even have "breaking points" where we want "just a taste" of that "good feeling" the sin brought on. Don't do it! Like it says in Romans 6, put that sin to death, even if it doesn't feel right. IT IS RIGHT!

Finally there is that powerful bridge of the song: "I start again and whatever pain may come, today this ends, I'm forgiving what I've done." When we do put the sin to death with our "hands of uncertainty" by the new power that is in us through Christ, we do "start again". In the music video during those lines, Joseph Hahn intentionally placed in images of a flower blooming, a cell dividing, an ultrasound of a child in a womb and then an infant playfully running. What a beautiful image of a new life!

In our new life in Christ, "whatever pain may come" we vow to always do our best to remember God's commandments and turn away from our own sin. We turn away from whatever feels right. We put that old life to an end TODAY, like it says in the song. Now in some ways, I don't agree with that word in the last line there that says "I'm forgiving what I've done." Obviously it's God who forgives, which is where I don't agree. I do believe, though, that we do need to also forgive ourselves and "stop playing judge". There are times in life when we do forget that God has forgiven us and we don't forgive ourselves for the wrong we have done. We beat ourselves into a pit and almost throw ourselves into Hell.

My friend, you don't play judge. Jesus does. And if you're in Jesus, His verdict for you is "Not Guilty." That's it. Rest in that! Rejoice in that like that infant child running! That "as far as the east is from the west, as far does He take our transgressions from us". (Psalm 103:12) He forgives what we've done. Therefore YOU need to forgive what you've done and rest in God's promise of atonement, salvation and forgiveness.

"I start again and whatever pain may come; today this ends, [He's forgiven] what I've done!" -the last line of that song with a slightly better adaptation to it.

Turn away from that sin in the new life you have in Christ. Forgive what you've done because He's forgiven you!

God bless you,

Steve

How God Has Provided

So in a lot of my blog posts previously I was talking a lot about how things in life for me have been tight and hard and how I was attempting to "Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!" (Phil. 4:3). It was and still is hard to do that, and I even had some voices of concern from friends asking me if I am okay, which of course I appreciate. And for the record....I AM!

Now a few days ago after a really encouraging meeting with a friend who strongly urged me to keep pressing, I was driving home and praying on what he was talking about. This thought then popped in my head, "Has God ever let me down?"

I then reflected on my life, even before I even embraced Christ. The first time I prayed to God about something was when I was younger. As a kid, I had problems with asthma and we were going to an indoor kids playscape called The Great Escape. It dawned on me on the way there that I forgot to take my asthma medicine before going. Immediately I said a brief prayer asking God to not let me get an asthma attack and He answered it because I never got one that day!

Fast forward to high school. I was a depressed teenager who in the year up to that point actually developed a deep hatred for God. However, I had a recent breakup with a girl who told me, "I can't fix you. You need help!" That opened up my eyes for my need to make positive changes in my life. Sitting there in study hall, the thought dawned on me to just start praying to God. I basically prayed to Him for help and for security. Almost immediately I felt a sense of warmth and God's peace came over me. I then heard the words, "Everything will be okay. I'm here with you."

Then as I continued to walk with God in Jesus Christ, over and over He showed His faithfulness to me. He delivered me from a cutting addiction, depression, anti-depressants, a possible diagnosis of lyme disease (long story), and in many instances God has provided for me financially.

In addition, a few months ago after moving back home and still working a minimum wage delivery job at Storrs Drug, a local pharmacy, I was BARELY able to pay all my bills except my health insurance premium. In the months leading up to my training date at EDGE Corps, every consecutive month a check came in the mail for me to be able to successfully pay it off! The last one was even a check from a friend of mine who just strongly felt led to give a check to me.

Now currently, I am now technically a "part time" staff member for The Navigators. God has provided most of the funds for my August paycheck with them!

And now I come to God yet again asking for a part-time job, to be fully funded and for my knee to be healed. Otherwise not all my bills will be paid, especially the large bill for gas in driving to and from Willimantic almost daily. And on top of that I'll be crippled for the rest of my life (if God wants me to be that way, then all power to Him! I just hope He doesn't). Will God let me down?

Let me answer that by asking you this: Has God ever let me down?

For those of you who don't fully trust in God, have doubts about God, have fears about God, or just have doubts and fears PERIOD, you need to know that when you put your trust in God, He will NEVER let you down.

Let's close with some scriptures:

"And Moses said to the people, 'Fear not, stand firm, and see the salvation of the LORD, which he will work for you today. For the Egyptians whom you see today, you shall never see again. The LORD will fight for you, and you have only to be silent.'" -Exodus 14:13-14 (context is right before the parting of the Red Sea)

"Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." -Isaiah 41:10

"Strengthen the feeble hands, steady the knees that give way. Say to those with fearful hearts, 'Be strong, do not fear; your God will come, He will come with vengeance; with divine retribution He will come to save you." -Isaiah 35:3-4

"The LORD is with you when you are with Him. If you seek Him, He will be found by you, but if you forsake Him, He will forsake you." -2 Chronicles 15:2b

God bless,

Steve

Confessions and Struggles

This post serves a few purposes. It's to get a few things off my chest and out in the open. It's also for me so I can actually see these issues and pray about them. They're also for you to pray about for me, if you don't mind. Lastly, they're to show to others that as a Christian, I'm not perfect, but just forgiven. These are in no particular order....

My theology changes a lot. Obviously my root in Christ never changes, but I learn new things and feel new convictions about certain issues everyday. There are still certain issues I still don't know about and I'm still wrestling with. People tell me sometimes that I have so much knowledge about the Bible. The truth is, I'm flattered, but I don't know enough and I'm still learning. I know I have been in the company of friends before where they witness me saying one thing on a particular issue, and then a little later they hear me saying something completely different. I don't want to be a "flip-flopper", but sometimes I feel like one. For example something that I'm wrestling with right now is the importance of going to church. Does one have to go to church on Sunday? Does a Bible study with a few friends constitute "church"? Pray for me on this because I am struggling. Intellectually I can probably tell you "no" or "yes" on certain issues, but my heart is having a hard time following suit.

Making friends can be easy, but being a friend is hard. Does anyone else know what I'm saying? I war with this desire sometimes between keeping a friend and being a friend. There are times when I feel like I should tell something to someone that they need to hear, mainly about the good news of Jesus, but because I don't want to lose them as a friend, I chicken out. Other times it may be about certain issues where they disrespect me, and I want to stand up, but I chicken out. I feel like David after he becomes king. David had a heart after people and loved them, but he was such a pushover at times. Read 2 Samuel and you'll see a whole lot of that. I've written things on here directed toward certain people at times, but have never actually confronted those people on those issues. You don't know who you are, and to tell you the truth, no names are immediately coming to mind, but I feel like I need to apologize. People have told me that I have such a genuine love for people, but in issues like this it doesn't feel so genuine.

Anointing for ministry is a free gift, not something I earned. I've been prophesied over, and have been told by multiple people that God has given me a heart for full-time ministry. Sometimes I feel like people have this sense of "awe" about me, like I'm some amazing holy person or something. And of course because of that, it's easy to get cocky and think, "Yeah, I am pretty holy aren't I?" The bottom line is that I didn't earn this by hard work, but it was something God ordained me to do. He chose me well before I was even close to being equipped for this....actually it was even well before I was born. I even get this feeling like, "Oh great here's so-in-so..." and then put on this fake smile when they approach me. The selfish pride in my heart in situations like this is just sickening. Why can't I greet this person like I would greet someone I actually want to see? If I ever gave you the vibe that I was acting like that, please forgive me. Even if you didn't feel that vibe and I was doing it anyways, please forgive me.

I know that a lot of these things are just "human struggles" that everyone goes through. I also know that these things just go to show that I need Jesus just as much as the next guy. He didn't die for me because of how cool I am, but because of how uncool I am. He died for me because of issues like the ones I'm writing about now. God's grace is amazing that He would use someone like me and call me a saint when my motives at times are most definitely not saintly at all. However He does that because He doesn't see me, but the One who died for me and met the standard I'm trying to reach.

To God be the Glory.

Peace,

Steve

Worrying

"How many of you by worrying can add one hour to his life?" -Matthew 6:27 NIV

I worry a lot. It's a sin I constantly struggle with. It's one of the main reasons I get panic attacks, back pains, and bad days. This blog post is for me, but feel free to listen in if you feel so inclined.

The Bible talks about worrying a lot. You know what it says about it? DON'T DO IT! Easier said than done, right? You're telling me! Does worrying actually cause you to live longer or grow stronger? Answer: NO!

Too many people sometimes act like victims of worrying, thinking that it's not their fault, but well...it is. Worrying is all your fault, Steve (remember, I'm talking to myself). You continually let "what if" questions in your head constantly. You give your life to Jesus Christ and then it's like you take it back with your anxious thoughts.

Don't you trust Him?

That sounds like an easy question to answer, right? Do you trust Jesus Christ and His power to get you through whatever the circumstance? Just look at your life and you'll see evidence all over the place where God has gotten you through different pains and trials. You know He can get you through this.

"God has not given you a spirit of fear, but of power, of love and of self-discipline" (2 Timothy 1:7). In other words, you have that power, you have that love, and you have that self-discipline. He gave it to you. The fear you have is not of God. "There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love" (1 John 4:18). God's perfect love, which you have not fully embraced, casts out that fear inside of you.

You need to embrace Him more. You need to embrace God's perfect love for you. Jesus died on the cross for you and took the punishment for you and your anxious thoughts. Because He loves you and cares for you. Yes in a way you are inconveniencing God because He doesn't have to help you, but at the same time He rejoices so much in helping you because you are His child. He has taken you in and He can and will help you through your pains.

Does that mean things will always be easy? Absolutely not. Things will not always be easy and things will not always be perfect. However God is perfect and sovereign and in control of what happens to you. He works out everything for His good, which will ultimately be for your good, though it may not be the actual "good" you were expecting.

Steve, you need to relax. You need to let go. You need to chill out. Yes, things will get crazy and the storm will rage. You will get rocked back and forth, but you need to hang on to Jesus Christ and rejoice in Him with every fiber of your being. Rejoice when it hurts, rejoice when it sucks, rejoice when things seem impossible. God will get you through.

I'm not telling you to work for your salvation because you already have it. You don't need to work for God's affection. He gives it to you freely because He loves you so much.

So Steve.....BREATHE!

God has you. God will carry you when you can't go on and His grace is sufficient for you in your times of weakness (2 Cor. 12:9).

"Casting the whole of your care [all your anxieties, all your worries, all your concerns, once and for all] on Him, for He cares for you affectionately and cares about you watchfully." -1 Peter 5:7 AMP

God bless,

Steve