Wounds

"Wounds so deep, they never show, they never go away.

Like moving pictures in my head, for years and years they've played."

-from "Easier to Run" by Linkin Park

“I’m not sure that anybody who lived through that one hasn’t carried with him, in some hidden ways, the scars. Perhaps that is the factor that helps keep Easy Men bonded so unusually close together.” -Captain Richard Winters, from Easy Company, WWII

"Scars remind us that the past was real." -William Shakespeare

Do any of you remember those old cliche kung fu movies? They always start out in such a way where they show the hero as a baby with his family. Then the villain comes in and murders the child's family, burns down the house and it shows a dramatic scene of the baby crying alone in the dark.

Then for the rest of his life (at least in the movie), he is driven by only one desire: revenge. That festering wound in his heart became his identity. It was the only thing he desired: to see the man who killed his family dead.

Recently, I have been thinking a lot about wounds. We are a people who in many ways can let wounds define us. Many charities are started because of a person seeing a wound. Invisible Children, for example was started because this group of guys stumbled across a remnant of African orphans running from child soldiers in Africa. They were dirty, hungry, and wounded in more ways than one. Seeing them so deeply moved them to action.

Our wounds can drive us. Sometimes certain wounds even from our past if they hurt us deep enough propel us forward in how we think of ourselves, others and even God. If we had festering wounds from an abusive father, seeing God as a loving Father is extremely hard for us.

But you know...God talked about wounds.

"But he was pierced for our transgressions;
he was crushed for our iniquities;
the punishment that brought us peace was upon him,
and by his wounds we are healed." -Isaiah 53:5 (NIV, emphasis mine)

Wounds we've experienced through hard times can define our entire lives. But then we see Jesus. He bore the wounds of sin, both physical with the cross and even more so spiritual with the wrath of God.

You see, when God looks at us as followers of Christ, He doesn't see the wounds from our past sins and sufferings, He sees the wounds of Jesus.

In Jesus, wounds bring on a whole new meaning. We can exchange our wounds for His....

Our wounds bring bondage, His bring freedom.

Our wounds bring suffering, His bring peace.

Our wounds bring chaos, His bring order.

Our wounds bring infection, His bring healing.

Our wounds bring sin, His make saints.

Our wounds are filthy, His are beautiful.

Our wounds show imperfection, His were perfect.

Let's make that exchange!

Confessions of a Recovering Facebook Addict

"THE WAGES OF SIN IS DEATH." (Romans 6:23)

Recently I decided to take a break from Facebook for 40 days. I found myself in a bit of a dry spell with God, and one of the things I literally felt consumed by was Facebook. It felt like my thoughts, my time, everything revolved around it. I couldn't work at home without checking it every five minutes, and I constantly had thoughts of: "Hey, this could make a cool status update..."

Whether it was to check my profile, change my picture, post status updates, view other people's status updates, or even spy on "friends" I haven't talked to since high school (some even elementary school), I could only imagine how many countless hours I wasted being consumed by it.

It got to the point where even when I just typed in the "www." in my web browser, it automatically guessed as a first choice that I'd be going to Facebook. My last weekly Covenant Eyes report before the break said I went to Facebook.com over 1,000 times in one week! I don't know about you, but I had a serious problem. It consumed me. It was hard going even a day without it.

That's what idols do. They consume you. They KILL you.

I find that when people pour out their entire lives for something other than Jesus, and it can be anything: sports, their job, music (I'll get to that one later), sex, whatever, it will leave you feeling empty and drained. Idols demand lots from you and give absolutely nothing back but a temporal, worthless high.

Facebook consumed me. Does it consume you? If it doesn't, then you can easily walk away from it. If you can't imagine your life without it, it's time for a break.

When people pour out their lives for Jesus, they find rest. Living for Jesus is hard, but pouring ourselves out for Him is the best thing you can do. Nothing compares to it. That's what He wants and that's what we need. If we pour ourselves out to other things: caffeine, Facebook, friends, social situations, etc. we will get drained. We will not be satisfied. We will be consumed. We will be slaves. We will be killed. We will be EMPTY!

By the grace of God I saw my flaw. Now, don't get me wrong. I'm not anti-Facebook. As of today, I'm actually back on Facebook. Facebook can be a very valuable tool when used for the glory of God. It can also be even more valuable when Christ is at the center of how we the users view it. Yes, those are separate things. Remember, God can glorify Himself through a thought provoking status update, even though it was not initially used with the purpose of glorifying Him (God is really sovereign like that).

Does that also mean that one needs to only post "super duper spiritual" Bible and sermon things? No, I don't think so. People have personalities. It's okay to have funny things posted, but as long as Christ remains the center of them in your heart, soul, mind, and strength when you post them. Is Christ the center? Because everything is about Him. It's not just about commandments, but about Him.

So in regards to Facebook, I am still recovering. I can still be prone to idolatry again, because though I'm dead to sin, I still wrestle with it. I am not over this by a long shot, but I have just made a first step. I also rejoice, because in Christ I am not a slave to sin, but free in Christ (who I'm now a slave to, by the way).

One amazing thing about Jesus is that we can come to Him how we are, no matter the sin struggle. That verse I quoted at the beginning of this post has an end: "...BUT THE FREE GIFT OF GOD IS ETERNAL LIFE IN CHRIST JESUS OUR LORD."

Thanks for reading, being my friend, praying for me and standing by me.

God bless you,

Steve

Do you struggle with an idol? Check and ask God: "Search me and know my heart, test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me and lead me in the way everlasting." -Psalm 139:23-24

Could We Handle Massive Miracles?

The Bible is chalk full of miracles. What is a miracle anyway? The wise Noah Webster defined it like this:

1. Literally, a wonder or wonderful thing; but appropriately,
2. In theology, an event or effect contrary to the established constitution and course of things, or a deviation from the known laws of nature; a supernatural event. Miracles can be wrought only by Almighty power, as when Christ healed lepers, saying, "I will, be thou clean," or calmed the tempest, "Peace, be still." (taken from 1828-dictionary.com).

They happen all over the place and the Bible recorded tons of them. What is interesting is that most of the miracles in the Old Testament are massive, large scale ones mainly impacting groups of people. Examples included the deadly plagues in Egypt before the Exodus, fire raining down from Heaven and consuming sacrifices offered to God, an angel from heaven rescuing Israel by wiping out an entire army, the sun standing still for an entire day, and much more.

The ones recorded in the New Testament that Jesus and the disciples performed were much more subtle: individuals getting healed or resurrected, water getting turned to wine at a party, thousands of people getting fed because of a little boy's lunch, a bunch of people praising God in languages they didn't even learn, and much more.

I say subtle because they still did cause awe, but at the same time they caused a different kind of attention. Instead of massively and instantly causing an entire group to turn to repentance, the miracles of Jesus caused some very different reactions in some people. For example, in the New Testament there were people who believed, but there were also people who either doubted, got logical, got angry, or even got scared. When two thousand demon possessed pigs ran off a cliff, the people in that village politely asked Jesus to leave. The Pharisees also saw Jesus' miracles and just got more upset! One of the first remarks out of people's mouths when they heard the disciples speak other languages was: "These people had way too much wine!"

In our Western American society that loves science, we try to rationalize every miracle we see, attempting to put it in this box, hoping to solve it with some complex formula. Television specials on the plagues of Egypt, for example, tried to through science put together this extremely unlikely series of events to try to solve how these plagues happened.

I've seen YouTube videos of people getting out of wheelchairs and walking or crippled people dancing, and then I look down at the comments and they are chalk full of people saying things like, "This kid is faking it..." or even things like "It's a type of hypnosis the preacher is using...."

It makes me wonder how people would react to the large-scale miracles nowadays as well. For example, if an angel came down from Heaven and wiped out an entire terrorist training facility right before American soldiers invaded it, would they get down on their knees and repent to Jesus, or just stand in awe at the time and then later try to rationalize the whole situation saying, "The government was just trying a new weapon...I guess it worked!"

Is that why miracles are hard to find in our society nowadays? Have our "advances in technology and thought" really caused us to be dumber in regards to how we look at miracles?

So let me ask you, if you are someone who wants a miracle to happen in your own life....Would you believe it if you saw it? Or even more importantly....Would you give God the glory? Would it change how you looked at Him, related to Him, and served Him?

Because that's what God's goal is in His miracles....yes, it's for our blessing, but it's also for His glory. Usually, those two things are pretty synonymous. God wants to be glorified, not rationalized. God wants people to stand in awe of Him, not ignore Him more and just explain Him away with science.

I could be way off on this, but it's just something to think about....Any thoughts? Post them on here. Don't be shy!

God bless you!

Steve

God's Healing Touch

This post is one I think will be appropriate because I just came from a service where they were laying hands on people believing that God would heal them. There were no immediate manifestations of healing tonight, but the man who was praying over people was encouraging them to keep the faith in Christ and to keep trusting that He will heal them. That's what this post concerns. By the way, this is another one of those posts that is a reminder to me. It seems to be a common theme lately....

Now before I get into this, I need to make a disclaimer. If you read these following words and think that I am "such an amazing person" and "an inspiration", I humbly say thank you for your encouragement, but I will remind you that the amazingness and inspiration that I have is a blessing from Christ. It is not my talent that I have achieved through hard work, but a blessing from God out of His love and grace for me. So do me a favor after you read this: don't thank me, thank God.

Last summer I needed a breakthrough. I was a few days away from leaving for ministry at a summer camp and I could barely get out of bed. I was getting hot and cold flashes, my mind was racing, I was physically weak and my neck was in such pain that I couldn't even turn my head without wincing. I was getting no more than four hours of sleep a night too.

My neck was hurting since my last physical therapy visit, and I called them for another one but they were all backed up with appointments and couldn't see me until Thursday morning, two days before I was leaving. I went to the doctor about my hot and cold flashes and they told me that I may have lyme disease. For some strange reason though they decided not to test me, but told me to wait until Thursday and if it didn't get any better and then I would come in to get tested. Like I said before, I was leaving for camp on Saturday. I didn't have time to deal with a lyme disease test! I needed a breakthrough!

There was a revival service at a church in Groton with an evangelist named Jason Westerfield. I went to the service Tuesday night and was desperate for God to heal me. I spent the whole night at the altar begging God for a breakthrough. Jason came up to me too and was laying hands on me, praying that God would heal my neck and everything. He told me to move my neck and asked if it was any better. I moved it and winced. It wasn't. I left that night feeling absolutely discouraged.

I carpooled with my friend Dave to the service and I voiced my frustrations to him in the car. "Why wasn't God healing me?" I said to him.
I don't remember what the exact words that Dave said were, but they were something along the lines of "Steve, do you believe God can heal you?"
What Dave was saying to me in the most loving and blunt way he could was that I wasn't trusting God enough to heal me. It was true. I had doubts like crazy. I didn't believe that He could heal me. I wanted to believe, but I couldn't. I went to bed again that night, once more having no more than four hours of sleep as my mind was racing and I had hot and cold flashes all night long.

All day the next day I was lying down at home on the couch in my living room wrestling with my thoughts. Dave called me again to check in on me and asked me if I was going to go back to the church again that night. The revival services were a week-long affair and they were having another one. I told him honestly that I didn't want to. Dave then told me honestly that I should get off my butt and go. I rolled my eyes and said I'd think about it.

As I hung up the phone, I sighed. I realized Dave was right. I looked up to the ceiling and said, "God I'm having a really hard time believing this whole healing thing right now is true."
My eyes went over to my Bible. "I guess I'll start from the beginning..."
I picked up my Bible and placed it in my lap.
"Hi God, I need You."

That night I decided to go to the revival service. It was a real leap of faith for me to even go because I didn't know where the church was, I was really physically weak, and Dave couldn't carpool with me over there because he was caught up in something else and would meet me at the service later. So I drove there using Mapquest directions and made it there okay.

The service that night was really long! It started off with roughly an hour of intense prayer, then it went into worship, which was another hour. Then after that, Jason preached a message for ANOTHER hour and there was MORE worship! When he finished it was getting late and I was getting very weak. I could barely even sit up in the pew anymore. How was I supposed to make it back home? I then prayed silently to God that He needed to heal me tonight, otherwise I wasn't even going to be able to make it home.

Finally, Jason decided to do some prayer for healings. This was it! He had people come up who needed it and then assigned other members of the congregation to lay hands on them. I had two guys come up to me and ask me what my problem was. I told them my whole story about my pains, my weakness and how I absolutely needed a breakthrough. So they laid hands on me and started praying. I was so desperate at this point that I started kneeling on the ground and weeping. As they were praying for me, I was almost convulsing. It was pretty crazy, but like I said, I was desperate. I didn't care about how I looked or anything. The only thing I cared about was God breaking through to heal me.

They asked me to move my neck and everything. I did and it still hurt just as bad as it did before. We all kept praying for God to break through and give me His healing touch. Jason then took a glance at his watch, saw it was late and decided to wrap up the service. I was still weak and in pain, but I felt a little better. The service wrapped up, I said my goodbyes to people and I left.

God gave me just enough strength to get home, go up three stories to my apartment into my room, put on my PJs, collapse on my bed and fall asleep. That night was the first night in a long time where I slept more than four hours. I actually didn't wake up once until roughly 7:00 in the morning. My physical therapy appointment was at 9:00 so I had to get up and going. As I got up I realized that I was a lot better! I didn't feel physically weak at all. My neck still hurt a lot, but I actually felt normal again.

At the physical therapy appointment, I told the therapist what the problem was with my neck and how tense it was. He then did a series of extensive massages on it, which really hurt a lot, but after he finished my neck was 100% better!

God had healed me! I was shocked at God's goodness and provision. It was the first time ever in my life that I had received a healing like that from God. He knew how much I doubted, being an ex-Christian Scientist and all (NOTE: For more information on Christian Science, visit ChristianWay.org), but He still met me where I was at in my doubts and healed me. It was an amazing experience.

I told this story for two reasons. The first one was for me, because I needed a little bit of a reminder of God's healing touch. The second one was of course, for you. I know a lot of people who don't follow Christ for whatever reason, but try to be all "intellectual" about it, and avoid their brokenness by asking me theological questions. Questions are good, don't get me wrong, but sometimes instead of questioning you have to just jump in and trust that God will catch you.

God will too, because He loves His kids.

This was a long post. If you made it here, thank you for reading. Now thank God for His unconditional, never-ending, undeserving affection that He has for you!

Peace,

Steve