Shattering Doors and Cutting Bars (revised)

Let them thank the LORD for his steadfast love,
for his wondrous works to the children of man!
For he shatters the doors of bronze
and cuts in two the bars of iron." -Psalm 107:15-16

I thought this verse was a really appropriate verse to send out with my latest e-mail update to my partners. Right now I am in the midst of raising support for full-time ministry and I am also going through a physical trial right now with a knee injury. I thought that verse was really encouraging for me because it felt like a confirmation that God is going to help me break through these trials that I'm in.

However later on that night, I felt compelled to read the whole psalm only to find that I was wrong in my interpretation of what those verses actually said!

If you read the CONTEXT of this verse, you'll find that it is not talking about God delivering someone from immense trials, but from the immense bondage of SIN that they brought upon themselves in their own rebellion and stupidity. When I first came to Christ, that was an issue that took me a long time to fully understand. However, I found that the closer I came to Christ and the more I grew in Him, the more I realized how horrible I really am!

Sin is serious. The bonds of it are strong and we CANNOT break free from them, no matter how hard we try using every method, every program, every accountability software, every Alcoholics Anonymous program, every medication. Nothing is working! For the record, I am not saying you shouldn't use these things if you have these issues. God can and will use these things to help us break free.

However what that passage is saying is when we come to God acknowledging these iron bonds, bars and doors that we have brought on ourselves and our need to be set free by God, He will! Jesus Christ on that cross bore that wrath of sin and paid the penalty of death for us, and through acknowledging our need for Him and declaring Him the Lord of our lives, He can and will set us free. That is His promise to us when we believe in Him!

Let me close with words from the classic hymn, "And Can It Be (Amazing Love)"
"Long my imprisoned spirit lay,
Fast bound in sin and nature’s night;
Thine eye diffused a quickening ray—
I woke, the dungeon flamed with light;
My chains fell off, my heart was free,
I rose, went forth, and followed Thee."

May you rise and go forward, following Christ in everything!

God bless,

Steve

How God Has Provided

So in a lot of my blog posts previously I was talking a lot about how things in life for me have been tight and hard and how I was attempting to "Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!" (Phil. 4:3). It was and still is hard to do that, and I even had some voices of concern from friends asking me if I am okay, which of course I appreciate. And for the record....I AM!

Now a few days ago after a really encouraging meeting with a friend who strongly urged me to keep pressing, I was driving home and praying on what he was talking about. This thought then popped in my head, "Has God ever let me down?"

I then reflected on my life, even before I even embraced Christ. The first time I prayed to God about something was when I was younger. As a kid, I had problems with asthma and we were going to an indoor kids playscape called The Great Escape. It dawned on me on the way there that I forgot to take my asthma medicine before going. Immediately I said a brief prayer asking God to not let me get an asthma attack and He answered it because I never got one that day!

Fast forward to high school. I was a depressed teenager who in the year up to that point actually developed a deep hatred for God. However, I had a recent breakup with a girl who told me, "I can't fix you. You need help!" That opened up my eyes for my need to make positive changes in my life. Sitting there in study hall, the thought dawned on me to just start praying to God. I basically prayed to Him for help and for security. Almost immediately I felt a sense of warmth and God's peace came over me. I then heard the words, "Everything will be okay. I'm here with you."

Then as I continued to walk with God in Jesus Christ, over and over He showed His faithfulness to me. He delivered me from a cutting addiction, depression, anti-depressants, a possible diagnosis of lyme disease (long story), and in many instances God has provided for me financially.

In addition, a few months ago after moving back home and still working a minimum wage delivery job at Storrs Drug, a local pharmacy, I was BARELY able to pay all my bills except my health insurance premium. In the months leading up to my training date at EDGE Corps, every consecutive month a check came in the mail for me to be able to successfully pay it off! The last one was even a check from a friend of mine who just strongly felt led to give a check to me.

Now currently, I am now technically a "part time" staff member for The Navigators. God has provided most of the funds for my August paycheck with them!

And now I come to God yet again asking for a part-time job, to be fully funded and for my knee to be healed. Otherwise not all my bills will be paid, especially the large bill for gas in driving to and from Willimantic almost daily. And on top of that I'll be crippled for the rest of my life (if God wants me to be that way, then all power to Him! I just hope He doesn't). Will God let me down?

Let me answer that by asking you this: Has God ever let me down?

For those of you who don't fully trust in God, have doubts about God, have fears about God, or just have doubts and fears PERIOD, you need to know that when you put your trust in God, He will NEVER let you down.

Let's close with some scriptures:

"And Moses said to the people, 'Fear not, stand firm, and see the salvation of the LORD, which he will work for you today. For the Egyptians whom you see today, you shall never see again. The LORD will fight for you, and you have only to be silent.'" -Exodus 14:13-14 (context is right before the parting of the Red Sea)

"Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." -Isaiah 41:10

"Strengthen the feeble hands, steady the knees that give way. Say to those with fearful hearts, 'Be strong, do not fear; your God will come, He will come with vengeance; with divine retribution He will come to save you." -Isaiah 35:3-4

"The LORD is with you when you are with Him. If you seek Him, He will be found by you, but if you forsake Him, He will forsake you." -2 Chronicles 15:2b

God bless,

Steve

Letters to God

Recently, I got to see a movie that my church showed called Letters to God. It was based on a true story about a young boy named Tyler who was diagnosed with cancer (no idea what type...I missed the beginning of the movie), who every night wrote reflective letters to God about struggles, victories, and sometimes just really random questions. What is peculiar, however, is that this boy, out of his simple mind, would actually fold the letter up, place it in an envelope, put a stamp on it and would give it to the mailman to send to God.

That mailman, named Brady, who basically was at a difficult place in life, was at first confused as to what to do with them, but over time he actually developed a deep relationship with the boy. As the story progressed, he finally found himself reading some of those letters, which he kept, and was deeply touched by the innocence and bravery of the boy. He then starts handing letters out to the community in the town and they all get very blessed by this young boy's heart, especially in his relationship with God.

What really spoke to me about this movie was the fact that this boy was not intentionally trying to reach his community with these letters. He was in reality just a son who frequently shared his heart with his Heavenly Father. However his love, bravery and honesty expressed in those letters blessed many people and is now blessing even more people years later!

What struck me about this movie is that this kid was not "intentional" in his evangelizing. He actually didn't even mean to reach out to people and draw them closer to God. He didn't go out on the streets and hand out his letters to people, and when he did hand his letter to the mailman, he wasn't expecting the mailman to read the letter, he was in his mind just thinking, "The mailman will get this to God."

Reaching people for Christ and impacting them in a significant way is actually in many ways more natural than one thinks. Christians don't always have to use the "Bridge Illustration" or the "Think You're a Good Person?" test. Sometimes you just have to be yourself and if you know and love Christ on a deep and personal level, your light in Him will just naturally shine!

"You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden." -Matthew 5:14

Here's a video for your encouragement. God bless!

-Steve

Gladys Aylward

"On the third day on my new job, I was sitting on my bed reading my Bible. I had now reached Nehemiah. I felt very sorry for him and understood why he wept and mourned when he heard about Jerusalem in its great need and could do nothing about it. He was a sort of butler and had to obey his employer just like I did, I thought. Then I turned to the second chapter. 'But he did go,' I exclaimed aloud, and got up, a strange elation within me. 'He went in spite of everything!'

As if someone was in the room, a voice said clearly, 'Gladys Aylward, is Nehemiah's God your God?'

'Yes, of course!' I replied.

'Then do what Nehemiah did, and go.'

'But I am not Nehemiah.'

'No, but assuredly I am his God.'

That settled everything for me. I believed these were my marching orders.

I put my Bible on the bed, beside it my copy of Daily Light and, at the side of that, all the money I had--2 1/2 pence (or two and a half cents). What a ridiculous little collection it seemed, but I said simply, 'O God, here's the Bible about which I long to tell others, here's my Daily Light that every day will give me a new promise and here is 2 1/2 pence. If You want me, I am going to China with these.'"

-from Gladys Aylward's autobiography, The Little Woman (emphasis added)

Gladys Aylward was a missionary to China in the 1930s and 40s. She had this amazing eagerness and a deep desire to reach the people in China for Christ. She was told a lot of her life leading up to this point that Chinese was too difficult of a language for her and that she would never make it over there. She battled with discouragement until that fateful night when she surrendered all she had: a Bible, a devotional book and 2 1/2 pence, the English equivalent of 2 1/2 pennies.

Right after Gladys prayed that prayer, there was a knock at the door and it was her mistress, asking her how much she paid to travel to London, where she was working as a maid. Her goal with this job was to save up enough money to get a train to China. Her mistress asked her how much it cost her to get to London and she replied that it cost her two shillings and nine pence. Then the mistress reimbursed her three shillings. Her 2 1/2 pence just increased significantly!

Long story short, Gladys worked her tail off and was able to get enough money to board a train to China, where she would ultimately do some amazing work in people's lives over there, especially in the lives of Chinese children.

What got Gladys over to China initially? Was it the money she collected? Was it the train she took? Was it the network of people she collaborated with?

NO! It was her faith. It was that moment when she said to God, "Here is everything, and I am Yours. Please God, get me to China, the place You have called me to be."

I completely understand Gladys because that is how I feel with this opportunity God has given me this coming year to work with college students at Eastern Connecticut State University and Manchester Community College.

Like Gladys, I don't have much right now. The only thing I feel like I do have is this desire inside of me to go over there.

I believe God is challenging me to be like Gladys, because Nehemiah's God is Gladys' God, and Gladys' God is my God!

God bless,

Steve

SILENT

A song by Flyleaf called "In The Dark" had this line in it: "I used to be afraid of cluttered noises, now I'm afraid of silence."

It's interesting how life nowadays is so filled with NOISE! We love noise and constantly crave it, especially now with wonderful technological advances that make listening to music incredibly easy. People can just turn on their iPods and plug in, pumping sound into their eardrums. For myself personally I cannot think of one time that I didn't have some song stuck in my head that I had listened to before.

There is so much noise everywhere we turn! Whether it's from our iPods, cars, computers, televisions, cell phones, bluetooths (blueteeth?), radios (yes people still do use those), and much more.

There are times when I literally have to will myself to silence. For example, a little known fact about when I write is that I always write while listening to music. It doesn't matter what music it is, but I just love the harmonious flow of my writing to the music I'm listening to. However for this post, I'm actually writing it in complete silence. No music, no YouTube videos, nothing. Just the sound of my keyboard pattering as I type it.

Here is a verse that God has been putting on my heart a lot lately: "The LORD will fight for you, and you have only to be silent" (Exodus 14:14). The context of this verse is actually an interesting one. The Israelites, a people under the slavery of Egypt for years have finally been liberated and Moses is leading them away. Suddenly off in the distance those people see Egyptian troops approaching with Pharaoh at the lead. Their faith and excitement instantly vanishes as they immediately start complaining to Moses wishing they were back in the "comforts" of Egypt.

Then Moses says those words to these doubting and complaining people. Shortly after he says them, God does an amazing thing never seen before on planet earth. For an entire night, He takes a massive body of water weighing several tons and parts it with a strong east wind. He doesn't just part the water on top of the sea floor either with that wind, but the wind is so strong that it dries the very ground underneath that sea. This causes it to be sturdy and walkable for thousands of scared Israelites to cross to safety.

Though it doesn't say what the reaction of the Israelites was as this water parted, I wouldn't be surprised if there was an eerie hush over that crowd all night as they sat and watched the handiwork of the massive God they serve.

Has anyone ever felt like God has totally given up on them? Has anyone ever felt trapped by the circumstances around them wondering how they are ever going to get out?

For me, I have been there and I would be lying if I said I wasn't there now. I explained in my last post this dilemma I find myself in. I feel God has called me to minister to students at Eastern Connecticut State University (ECSU) and Manchester Community College (MCC). I say this because He got me this far already. In getting accepted to the EDGE Corps program, in being selected to go to these campuses I looked at them as signs of God's sovereign will and plan for this chapter of my life.

And now, here I stand looking out at this massive body of water filled with doubt, fear, discouragement, and maybe even depression. On the opposite shore is ECSU and MCC: two campuses that desperately need to hear the good news of Jesus Christ. I have made calls, I have set appointments, and I have sent out letters. I have in many ways done everything I possibly can, and I will still do everything I possibly can.

However, according to that verse, God will fight for me. And right now, I have only to be silent, to wait. Wait on the sovereign and loving hand of God to make His move.

So what's it gonna be, Lord? I say that not in a challenging way, but in a trusting way.

God can move on these people's hearts. He can do it in New England, Florida, Texas, Ohio, California, Seattle, wherever He wants to, and if this is His will, which I believe that it is, then He will move.

Do you want to donate? Then right now make sure that God does. It is His money, not yours. If you don't believe in Christ and want to give then well...God bless you for your honesty and your charitable heart.

Time is short, but God is good.

God bless,

Steve

The Wilderness

A popular cartoon in the early 90's called Duck Tales, had this quote at the beginning of its theme song, "Life is like a hurricane." Interesting how a quote from a kid's TV show could be so profound, but think about it. Doesn't life just feel like that sometimes? There are those beautiful mountaintop moments with a jaw-dropping view and the wind whistling through your sweaty clothes as you take the scenery in, rejoice with friends, or just give a loud, "HUZZAH!" Then, however, you have to eventually get down off that mountaintop and walk into the deep, dark, dirty, buggy, muggy wilderness. Recently I got a chance to meet with some friends at Northern Frontier, a Christian boys camp in the Adirondack Mountains. It was a great time with great people and it was very difficult to leave, but during my time up there I was literally reminded of a spiritual reality called the wilderness.

You see, the Adirondack Mountain area is known very well for its uneasy terrain. There is an excess amount of roots, rocks, massive mud puddles and washed out areas. Even on flat ground! On top of that there are mosquitoes that constantly are hungering for your blood as they land on you, stick that sharp hollow needle in your skin and feast on some of your blood. And don't get me started on those deer flies! They constantly are flying around your head, looking for a place to either roost in your hair or bite your neck. And every time you try and swat them, they escape before you get the chance to make them pay. And on top of that there is NO CELL PHONE SERVICE! So if you slip, fall and get hurt you can't even call 9-1-1. You have to run back to camp, which is usually pretty far, and get help. And if you're off camp grounds then you find the nearest park ranger or something.

For the record, I love it in the Adirondacks with my good friends out there, and miss it dearly, but those conditions are the spiritual reality sometimes.

Sometimes life just gets hard, and you pray asking God that it would just end, but for some strange reason, it just won't end. Maybe you're there right now, whether it's your fault or not. Right now for me...I feel like I'm there. I feel like I'm in that wilderness, dealing with that rocky terrain and swatting at those deer flies and mosquitoes.

It's interesting because in the accounts of Jesus after He was baptized it says that Jesus was led by the Spirit into the wilderness (Matthew 4:1). Now, the wilderness for Jesus wasn't Adirondack Mountain wilderness, but hot, scorching desert wilderness. On top of that, He wasn't eating or drinking anything for 40 days! Even if Survivor Man tried doing that, he'd probably die. But what's interesting is that part that says "the Spirit led Jesus into the wilderness."

So it was God's will for Him to be there? Now granted, Jesus is God, so really it was His will, but it's still interesting that Jesus went there and did that right after He got baptized with the Holy Spirit and water. I bet He didn't even change His clothes!

The wilderness is a common theme in the Bible. Moses ran away into the wilderness, as did Elijah in the Old Testament. John the Baptist was also another example. He lived in the wilderness for probably most of his life just being alone with God and living off the wild before embarking on his ministry. Paul also had a time when he disappeared too right after he met Christ, and he briefly talked about it in Galatians 1:15-17.

So what am I getting at? The point is that God is first of all sovereign. Yes, He is loving and good, but He is also LORD! He can do whatever He wants to whomever He wants and no one, not even Chuck Norris can stop Him (Chuck Norris is a Christian by the way). God is second of all good, and He does at times sovereignly decide to let our lives get totally messed up! He mainly, of course, does this for His own glory because it's all about Him. He does it really to draw us closer to Him and build us up in Him. We could either be knee-deep in mucky sin or living life in the holy fast lane. Sometimes life throws us curveballs, and God lets them come. God does work all things out for our good, but our good isn't necessarily a good that we agree with.

Well that stinks! God lets bad things happen to me for my own good? How is that good? Well first of all, God is the ultimate source of goodness, and because God is the ultimate source of goodness, He wants to draw us closer to Him! I know that through my trials one thing I've been doing a lot of is praying. I'm drawing closer to God. A lot of the Psalms in the Bible were written during times when things were absolutely horrible! Not only that, but when we come out of those hard times, we come out of them stronger and even closer to God than when we started. That's why James calls it "pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of any kind" (1:2).

Right now...I'm here in the wilderness. To bring it personal on my life, I don't know how God is going to provide for me. I'm not even at 5% of my funding goal and I start ministry in less than a month. On top of that, I just found out this past week that I have been diagnosed with minor arthritis in my left knee, which has been quite swollen recently. Right now I'm doing physical therapy and taking anti-inflammatory medication, but this crazy knee is still swollen. Financially speaking, I have no idea how to pay for all this, especially if I have to get surgery or something. With my health insurance I'm still in "deductible mode", which means you have to pay almost the full amount of the cost every time you go to the doctor until you reach a certain amount. I don't have enough money hanging around to pay all that.

So yes, right now I'm praying. If you want...please pray for me too. If you actually feel led to support me, please contact me personally at stimmons86@gmail.com.

I remember a verse that says, "The LORD will fight for you, and you have only to be silent" (Exodus 14:14). Sometimes, all one can do is wait.

God bless you!

Steve

A Bit of an Update...

So first of all, it's been awhile. My mom, who is this blog's number one fan, checks this blog daily and the other day she said to me, "Steve, you haven't written in this in awhile!" So Mom...this one's for you!

Lots has been going on. I went off for training in mid-June for a program called EDGE Corps (Evangelizing, Discipling, Growing, and Experiencing). It's a program with a non-profit organization called The Navigators. Through the program I'll be working at Eastern Connecticut State University (ECSU), a school I recently graduated from, and Manchester Community College (MCC). I'll mostly be at ECSU and I will be working with college students on a small-scale and relational basis. If they're not Christians, my hope is to meet them where they're at in their doubts, fears and struggles and to look at them not as projects, but as people made in the image and likeness of Christ. My hope is to, of course, draw them closer to Christ. If they're Christians, my hope is to encourage them in their faith and to turn them not just into a passive follower who absorbs information, but someone who actively lives it out for the Kingdom.

Since coming back from a ten-day training session there, I have been steadily raising support through meetings with people, phone calls and sending out letters. Above all, I've just been trusting God for provision.

Has it been easy? I'd be totally lying if I said yes, however it has been a fun and interesting growing experience. It's an interesting thing when one jumps out in faith like this. Just think about it...I'm truly relying on God to supply my needs! My salary isn't guaranteed everyday. It's all based on how God moves individual people who partner with me to give joyfully to Him. Then He in turn blesses them and gives to me.

One should always rely on God even if they work a job with a full-blown salary. You don't earn your way, God blesses you with it. Don't just rejoice in your hard work, rejoice in His blessing! My old job was at a pharmacy delivering medications to people. It was only a minimum-wage job that BARELY paid the bills and there were a lot of times when I didn't even know how the next month's wave of expenses would be paid. Then...they were!

Stay tuned for another post coming shortly about some things I've been battling with, and as I preach to myself as a reminder of how God has and will always provide.

I don't normally talk about my life on these things by the way. That's not my style. I mention things and struggles, but the central part of why I write is to edify others with a message, not to just "tell them about me." If I want to just "reflect on me" I'll journal elsewhere or I'll go take a prayer walk or something. I just felt like I needed to say that.

You can donate to my cause, but if you want to know more I'd have to ask you to e-mail me at stimmons86@gmail.com. There I can give you the necessary information.

Thanks and God bless,

Steve