Why Have You Forsaken Me?

My God, my God why have You forsaken me? Why are You so far from saving me, from the words of my groaning? O my God I cry by day, but you do not answer, and by night but find no rest." -the words of a broken man.

The excerpt, of course, is the first two verses of Psalm 22. Recently, God put it on my heart to study this psalm.

At a prayer meeting one time, I heard a woman pray, "God, we're not supposed to cry. You hate it when we cry. You command us to rejoice!"

God commands us to rejoice?! If so, what does "rejoicing" look like? Is "rejoicing" walking around forcing a happy smile when inside we feel miserable and want to bawl our eyes out? Many people I know think that. When I heard that woman pray that, my heart broke. I got angry! Who told her that lie?! It was like she was saying that God is this gestapo that comes to you as you're bawling your eyes out and says, "Rejoice! What's wrong with you?! Suck it up, buttercup!" And yes, I know what Philippians 4:4 says, but is it actually just a command?

We can think it is! When we go to church we almost can feel guilty about showing our true emotions sometimes. I've felt this way especially in ministry.
People walk up to me and ask, "Hey Steve, how's it going?"
First words out of my mouth: "Good!" I force a smile at them.

There were times when I said that and I felt horrible! I had a sleepless night, a stressful week, a stubborn student in ministry not listening to me, financial woes, car problems, the list has gone on. Why didn't I just tell them?! I would have times of prayer with God in the midst of times like this: "Dear God, thank you for today..." when in reality I was not feeling that! So why didn't I tell Him that?! WHY?!

YES trials can mold us and shape us and YES God can use them, but sometimes what we forget is that GOD is NOT just LORD, but our LOVING FATHER! You know what His tone is in saying the words, "Rejoice in the Lord always, again I say rejoice?" It is this: He gently puts His hand on our shoulder, looks at us with the most compassionate eyes imaginable as we are bitter and weeping and says, "I'm your Dad, I love you, and I'll get you through this. Rejoice!"

I'm not going to lie, but when I think about that, it brings tears to my eyes.

Because we've all had times in our lives when we've felt horrible! David WAS feeling horrible as he was writing this and yet it is in the Bible as one of the most popular psalms. One of the main examples, of course was that through the poetic imagery he was using, he was describing Jesus on the cross. When he wrote the words, "they have pierced my hands and feet" (v. 16), historically speaking crucifixion wasn't even invented yet as a form of execution. So what does that mean?

God used this broken man, that's what it means. David was just expressing his heart to God, but GOD was using HIM to explain to the WORLD that ultimately THIS WILL BE JESUS.

Jesus,
the God of the universe who became a man.
A broken man of sorrows,
bearing the wrath we deserve.
He
was
forsaken.
David felt forsaken,
Jesus was forsaken.
We feel forsaken,
Jesus was forsaken.

And because of that, in Christ we are NEVER forsaken. Toward the end of that psalm, David's tone changed to words of PURE PRAISE to God. We are supposed to praise and rejoice in God, yes! If I sounded like I was contradicting myself, I was not. We are supposed to and He does command it, BUT God at the same time allows us to come to Him as real people! We can come broken, bitter, and weeping and God does not condemn us, but embraces us as a loving Father embraces His son who just fell off a bike and is crying over a scraped knee. I don't know about you, but that God deserves to be rejoiced over.

So let's come to Him!

Who Are You?

The following blog I wrote in reflection the evening after attending a workshop called "How the Gospel Changes Obedience", led by a man named Bill Tell at my latest EDGE Summit in Colorado Springs.

"What do you do?"

That is the question that many people (including myself) ask someone in small talk when they want to know him or her better. In America today, we base a lot of our identity by what we do. Usually in the case of ministering to college students I ask them, "What is your major?"

We in society then base who that person is by what kind of career they have. If they are a businessman in a fortune 500 company then they must be really important. If they're a janitor or someone who works the night shift at a retail store stocking shelves, then they must be a lowlife druggie or something.

At times some of us may even say, "Here's my card..." On it it says our business position, company name and contact information, making us look much more official.

We even do this in the context of Christianity: "I'm a pastor, a missionary, an evangelist, a theologian, an apologist, a Navigator, etc."

In his letter to the Ephesian church, Paul immediately began by telling these people who they were in Jesus:

In love he predestined us for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will, to the praise of his glorious grace, with which he has blessed us in the Beloved. In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace, which he lavished upon us, in all wisdom and insight making known to us the mystery of his will, according to his purpose, which he set forth in Christ as a plan for the fullness of time, to unite all things in him, things in heaven and things on earth. (Ephesians 1:5-10)

Why did he do this? BECAUSE IT WAS IMPORTANT!

As Christians, this mindset of letting what we do define who we are is not the mindset we should have at all! In Jesus Christ, our new life starts with a new identity being given to us, not by what we've earned, but just because of His grace and mercy. Therefore, we will never be defined in God's eyes by what we do. He doesn't see me as a campus missionary working for The Navigators in the EDGE Corps program. He sees me as HIS SON!

No matter what I do, what career I have, I will always be known in God's eyes as His son. There is no good thing I can do that will make Him love me more, nor is there any bad thing I can do that will make Him love me less.

There is nothing I can do to get God closer to me. I could fast for 40 days, read the Bible countless times all the way through, and spend hours on end in prayer, and it will not get God any closer to me. Now these things are amazing and as a Christian should not be forsaken, but I have unlimited access to God, not because of how much time I spend with Him, but because of His Son dying on a cross to pay the price for my sins. Because of that, I can freely come to Him as I am.

This therefore makes things like giving generously, praying, reading the Bible, and loving your neighbor not duties that I should perform to become "a better Christian", but instead they are privileges that I now naturally want to do because God's power has made me a new person in Christ Jesus.

So in conclusion...WE ARE WHO WE ARE NOT BECAUSE OF WHAT WE DO, BUT BECAUSE OF WHAT GOD DID IN US! We therefore will naturally live according to our new identity in Christ Jesus.

Rapport

Something I learned a lot about ministering is that establishing rapport is really important for those you're ministering to. People nowadays really don't get as much out of "hit and run evangelism" as they used to. Especially in college, something that people really crave is relationships.

People who get witnessed to by a Christian can sometimes get upset not necessarily because of the Gospel being presented, but how it is presented. With a lot of people, especially here in New England, if they hear "Christian" they immediately think "a preacher with an agenda out to convert me." Of course we should pray for their salvation, and aim to share the Good News with them, but we shouldn't just look at these people as just "targets to preach to." These are people made in the image and likeness of God! Shouldn't we at the very least love them?

How do we love them? By getting to know them! Their goals, dreams, hobbies, struggles, favorite music, etc. Actually be friends with them. Do things with them like dinner, coffee, ultimate frisbee game, playing cards, hiking, and much more. We as humans, especially men, enjoy bonding by doing things together. They like talking while their hands are busy.

The misconception that many people have about Christianity is that it takes away your personality. People can think that when they come to Christ, they become "mindless Jesus zombies" whose only objective is to just go around converting everyone in sight. As Christians, we have personalities, so lets let them show! Share with them your hobbies, your favorite ice cream flavor, your life goals, etc.

Jesus did "hit and run" evangelism quite often during his ministry, so I am not in any way saying it doesn't work. He would heal someone and that would be His only interaction with them. However, Jesus' main evangelism was with the twelve men who followed Him around. I'm sure His conversations with them weren't just about deep spiritual issues and life lessons. People actually had senses of humor and actually had fun back then. I mean Jesus was invited to parties! Those were other opportunities He used...socializing with the people there and getting to know them. I mean, why wouldn't He? It would be the loving thing to do, right?

I did this a lot with a group of students at Eastern who played pool almost daily in the Student Center Cafe. I would hang out with them, mingle, and get to know them. It has been said, "People don't care how much you know until they know how much you care." How very true this is.

This process is much slower than a typical "hit and run" evangelism, but so much more worth it! Because you may not just gain a conversion, but a friend. It can also open the door for discipleship and follow-up. If they give their lives to Jesus, you'll probably be one of the first people they run to for advice.

Reflections on Last Wednesday (3/30)

Photo: Students socializing in the Student Center at ECSU. This is where a majority of my time is spent ministering to students, including where I met students for follow-up last Wednesday.

Last Wednesday was an amazing experience. For YEARS 180 Christian Fellowship, the club at Eastern I work with has been trying to implement successful follow-up. Ever since Spring 2006, when we had the band/ministry Holyfire (now the band is called Out Of Hiding) do an outreach concert at Eastern. Roughly 20 people made a profession of Christ that night at the concert and NONE of them were followed up successfully. The club tried again almost every year, doing an outreach event to freshmen, calling it the Hoozamadingie. In the event, they handed out spiritual interest surveys, and once again failed to follow-up with ANY of the students who were interested in knowing more. If Dawson Trotman, the founder of The Navigators, were alive today and working at ECSU, he would be one unhappy man.

A few weeks ago, we tried once again setting up a table and handing out surveys to students. We had hundreds filled out, some good conversations, and 19 students responded saying they wanted follow-up. This time I started making phone calls and sending out e-mails, just praying for a breakthrough. Out of the 19 students who replied, ONLY FOUR said they wanted to actually meet up in a group setting and discuss their questions, issues, etc. with God, Jesus, the Bible, Rebecca Black (if you don't know who she is...good) and much more.

We decided to meet last Wednesday at 6:00pm over pizza. If I were one of the students, I would be incredibly confused and nervous meeting a total stranger in the Student Center, especially to talk about the Bible. However, contrary to popular belief, FIVE students bravely wandered into the Student Center looking for a guy in a black hoodie with a box of pizza. One student called out sick, promising he would be there next week and another student brought two friends. That makes SIX people total for the group! The group meeting went VERY well, and the students felt comfortable sharing their questions and expressed interest in wanting to explore the scriptures in future weeks to see who Jesus actually is! So for the first time EVER (at least from what I remember) successful Christian follow-up was finally implemented at ECSU.

What I heard about behind the scenes before, during, and after the meeting though was probably even more exciting! TONS of people, more than I even know, were praying fervently for these students. My e-mail box got blown up by lots of responses from people. My church had a prayer meeting that night, and THEY were praying (they usually gather to pray and such on Wednesdays...it wasn't just for me!). The pastor at my parents church had a STRONG burden to pray that night for me at a Bible study he was leading that night. I heard later that another local church in town actually sent out the news in their congregational prayer chain and they were interceding for me. It was so exciting, and I think for the first time in my life, I can actually say that I FELT prayer. I felt a "Holy Spirit supercharge" all day long. It was so exciting to see the prayers of saints WORK right before my eyes!

So if you prayed Wednesday....THANK YOU! If you're praying right now....THANK YOU! Your prayers are NOT in vain. God hears you, and I thank you so much for your support!

Stay tuned and please continue praying!

No Music?!

My brother told me about this composer named John Cage who wrote a song simply titled "4'33"". The song is incredibly abstract. Some would call it a waste of time and talent and others would call it pure genius. Basically it is 4 minutes and 33 seconds of absolute silence. What is even crazier is that this piece does have movements as well. First of all, the music piece shows that there is no complete silence and that everything is music. In the video you'll hear the hum of electricity, people coughing (especially between movements), and much more. It also teaches we the listeners to be still and listen, something that is easy to do when music is playing, but very hard to do when nothing is happening.

The announcers in the video after the piece described the environment as "tense". Like I said before, being still is easy to do when music is playing because it allows your mind to work on something. You can think on lyrical content, an amazing guitar solo, the harmonies sung, and much more. In church settings nowadays, music is CONSTANTLY being played. There is always noise and something happening, especially at youth services I've been to. They even feel a need to play music when an altar call happens because it helps "set the moment."

Now, I am someone who loves music. I love listening to music when I'm working, writing, cleaning my room, hanging out with friends, whatever. God initially used a band named 12 Stones to help bring me to Him. However, it can be so easy for people, especially me, to get so consumed by music that we forget about the world around us.

This can be seen especially in gyms. A friend of mine who goes to Cardio Express told me once that he noticed practically everyone around him had earbuds on, listening to something while they were working out. In my experiences working at Sports Authority I've seen customers wearing earbuds while they're shopping. A student I see regularly at Eastern plays pool with a group of friends while wearing earbuds. He rarely talks to them as a result.

It got to the point where I as well could not go a day without listening to some form of music. I feel like I always have a song stuck in my head. Whenever I'm going through a trial, I even find myself going through my internal music library trying to find songs describing situations I've been through. At times it is comforting, but is it always right?

Recently, I felt it strongly put on my heart to take an extensive break from listening to music. I took off the cover of my stereo so I couldn't listen to the radio on my way to/from work, and did not access my iTunes library. I found myself bored sometimes, especially when driving. I was annoyed at times too, because I could hear noises I was trying to shut out, but couldn't. I even found myself making up my own music: singing songs, beatboxing, drumming on the steering wheel, etc. I even started playing my guitar again! (Not while I was driving, of course.)

More importantly, though, it caused me to pray much more. I found myself reciting more scriptures: some I haven't looked at for awhile and others I was trying to memorize. I also heard God speak to me much more as well. American society can be so LOUD that it can be hard to get quiet and hear that "still small voice" (1 Kings 19:12).

Is it possible to get quiet before God?

Psalm 46:10 says, "Be still, and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth!"

So it is possible...I think about when in Mark 1:35, Jesus got up early in the morning before the sun came up (probably around 4am), and went to pray. Back in those days, it must have been so quiet. No hum of car engines, no televisions, no music, no airplanes, nothing. He probably just heard his heartbeat and the blood pump in his head. Jesus got that quiet, and as Christians I think we should make time to get that quiet: where there is no music, no crowds of people talking, no television blaring, but just you and God.

Will you do that? Try it out...

God bless you,

Steve

God's Word

"When you or I open the Bible, we are beholding the very words of God--words that have supernatural power to redeem, renew, refresh, and restore our lives to what he created them to be. That is why I believe it is more important for you and me to read Leviticus than for us to read the best Christian book ever published, because Leviticus has a quality and produces an effect that no book in the Christian marketplace can compete with. If we want to know the glory of God, if we want to experience the beauty of God, and if we want to be used by the hand of God, then we must live in the Word of God." -from the book, Radical by David Platt

In the book of Nehemiah Chapter 8, there was a powerful scene after Jerusalem was rebuilt. All Israel was gathered together to hear the Book of the Law read by Ezra the scribe. It said that Ezra read it “from early morning to midday” (8:3). In a sermon Pastor Mark Driscoll gave on this scene, he called it a “six hour sermon”, and after the Book was read there were also other men who helped the people of Israel understand the words they were hearing.

What I think is amazing about these people is that they were truly in a state of hunger for the scriptures of God. They desired deeply to hear God's Word and were willing to bear sitting in hot desert heat from early morning to midday to hear it. On top of that they were willing to then hear others instruct them on what the Law actually said.

In Psalm 119 we find the individual who wrote it in a similar state as these people were. He said things like, “I have stored up Your word in my heart that I might not sin against You,” (v. 11) or this powerful statement, “My soul clings to the dust, give me life according to Your Word” (v. 25). He understood that God's Word gives direction: “Your Word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path” (v. 105).

Where is our hunger for God's Word like that? We have God's Word in different versions and languages and access to the original Greek and Hebrew manuscripts. Christians in North Korea, where the Bible is considered the most dangerous book to own (they can get killed if they have a copy of it), desire so greatly to have what we have!

God's Word is perfect. Contrary to popular opinion, there are no contradictions in it. God's Word is deep. One could read it a thousand times and on the thousand and first, discover something new and exciting from it!

God's Word is pure. In being "breathed out by God" (2 Tim. 3:16), scripture is the most real material you can find. It's not watered down or censored in any way. God's Word tells things like they are. I own a copy of the Qu'ran and a copy of the Book of Mormon. I can read them for about two seconds before I get bored. No lie. Those books are dry. Why are they dry? Because they don't satisfy! (oo that rhymes!) God did not breathe out the Book of Mormon nor did He breathe out the Qu'ran.

Let's look back at our friends in Israel as Ezra is reading the Book of the Law, which includes Leviticus. It is probably one of the hardest books to read in the whole Bible because it is just a massive set of rules...some of which don't really directly apply to us anymore (ex. sacrifices, priestly cleansings, offerings, etc.). However there is a richness and depth of truth in Leviticus that is not found in The Shack, The Pursuit of God, My Utmost for His Highest, Irresistable Revolution, Mere Christianity or even in most Christian music today.

These people of Israel described in the book of Nehemiah had not heard the Book of the Law read in a long time. Probably their entire lives. Can you imagine what that must have been like to them? No wonder they were sitting and listening so intently! They craved scripture like a baby craved milk. They wanted it! They cheered for it! Is that us? Or do we instead cheer that loudly for our favorite Christian band, go ga-ga over The Shack, or make our own version of the Gospel according to The Irresistable Revolution (For the record...both those books are very good books. The Bible is just better!).

God's Word existed before this planet did and it will exist long after this planet dies. God's Word became flesh two thousand years ago and came on this earth for thirty three years, pursuing us, the people who rejected Him and died for us a brutal death on a cross so we could seek Him without hindrance. God's Word paid the price that we owed for our sins. God's Word is easily avaiable for us. Why don't we read and seek God's Word more often?

Confessions of a Recovering Facebook Addict

"THE WAGES OF SIN IS DEATH." (Romans 6:23)

Recently I decided to take a break from Facebook for 40 days. I found myself in a bit of a dry spell with God, and one of the things I literally felt consumed by was Facebook. It felt like my thoughts, my time, everything revolved around it. I couldn't work at home without checking it every five minutes, and I constantly had thoughts of: "Hey, this could make a cool status update..."

Whether it was to check my profile, change my picture, post status updates, view other people's status updates, or even spy on "friends" I haven't talked to since high school (some even elementary school), I could only imagine how many countless hours I wasted being consumed by it.

It got to the point where even when I just typed in the "www." in my web browser, it automatically guessed as a first choice that I'd be going to Facebook. My last weekly Covenant Eyes report before the break said I went to Facebook.com over 1,000 times in one week! I don't know about you, but I had a serious problem. It consumed me. It was hard going even a day without it.

That's what idols do. They consume you. They KILL you.

I find that when people pour out their entire lives for something other than Jesus, and it can be anything: sports, their job, music (I'll get to that one later), sex, whatever, it will leave you feeling empty and drained. Idols demand lots from you and give absolutely nothing back but a temporal, worthless high.

Facebook consumed me. Does it consume you? If it doesn't, then you can easily walk away from it. If you can't imagine your life without it, it's time for a break.

When people pour out their lives for Jesus, they find rest. Living for Jesus is hard, but pouring ourselves out for Him is the best thing you can do. Nothing compares to it. That's what He wants and that's what we need. If we pour ourselves out to other things: caffeine, Facebook, friends, social situations, etc. we will get drained. We will not be satisfied. We will be consumed. We will be slaves. We will be killed. We will be EMPTY!

By the grace of God I saw my flaw. Now, don't get me wrong. I'm not anti-Facebook. As of today, I'm actually back on Facebook. Facebook can be a very valuable tool when used for the glory of God. It can also be even more valuable when Christ is at the center of how we the users view it. Yes, those are separate things. Remember, God can glorify Himself through a thought provoking status update, even though it was not initially used with the purpose of glorifying Him (God is really sovereign like that).

Does that also mean that one needs to only post "super duper spiritual" Bible and sermon things? No, I don't think so. People have personalities. It's okay to have funny things posted, but as long as Christ remains the center of them in your heart, soul, mind, and strength when you post them. Is Christ the center? Because everything is about Him. It's not just about commandments, but about Him.

So in regards to Facebook, I am still recovering. I can still be prone to idolatry again, because though I'm dead to sin, I still wrestle with it. I am not over this by a long shot, but I have just made a first step. I also rejoice, because in Christ I am not a slave to sin, but free in Christ (who I'm now a slave to, by the way).

One amazing thing about Jesus is that we can come to Him how we are, no matter the sin struggle. That verse I quoted at the beginning of this post has an end: "...BUT THE FREE GIFT OF GOD IS ETERNAL LIFE IN CHRIST JESUS OUR LORD."

Thanks for reading, being my friend, praying for me and standing by me.

God bless you,

Steve

Do you struggle with an idol? Check and ask God: "Search me and know my heart, test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me and lead me in the way everlasting." -Psalm 139:23-24