Christmas Reflections

Earlier tonight I was able to watch The Nativity Story with some close friends. Though it really wasn't exactly how things went down as they were recorded in scripture, it at least gave people a feel for the basic story as well as a very accurate glimpse into what the culture of those days was like.

One thing that has really been standing out to me this Christmas season is the faith of Mary and Joseph in the nine months building up to Jesus' birth. In Mary's time, living in an extremely conservative and legalistic culture, she risked the possibility of being beaten and stoned to death, losing her husband, and reputation for coming back home from a long trip being pregnant.

In Luke 1, it said that after Mary got visited by Gabriel and became pregnant by the power of the Holy Spirit, she sang a beautiful and theologically rich song of praise to God. It highlighted how she trusted in His sovereignty over her present situation. The scriptures never mentioned, however, any feelings of doubt, fear or anxiety Mary felt afterward. Did that mean she never went through them? Come on now, she's human! Of course Mary must have battled with some doubts, especially when she came back and saw Joseph's shocked face at the fact her belly was bigger than when they last saw each other.

Then of course one must think of her parents. I bet they were a little concerned too! In the situation she was in once she got home, Elizabeth, her cousin with whom she could definitely sympathize with and vent to, was nowhere in sight. She was alone with her faith.

Have you been like that before? Maybe you're the only Christian in your family this Christmas. It's tough, right? Maybe your family just cares about opening presents, drinking egg nog, maybe "sparking" that nog a bit, then getting drunk and passing out. The last thing they want to rejoice over is Jesus' birth. Probably the only time they say the words "Jesus Christ" is when they're upset. People around you don't understand you. They may even be judging you and making fun of you behind your back.

I guarantee you, though scripture doesn't record it, Mary was there. Nazareth was a small town and I'm sure word got out that Mary came back from her long trip pregnant.

Or maybe you had a set plan this past year of what you wanted to do with your life, but a monkey wrench got thrown into it. That was Joseph. He had the woman of his dreams, a steady job, and a house. Then all of a sudden his plans got thwarted because Mary came home pregnant AND the Roman government tells him he has to go back to Bethlehem, where he was born, and register for the census. He then had to take his very pregnant new wife who he can't even have sex with across rocky desert terrain with little food and water and a high risk of attack by thieves on the roads. Not exactly the plan he was thinking of, eh?

But they both took that journey together in faith knowing that this was from God and that He would provide for their every need.

I can tell you one thing....I did NOT expect this past year to turn out the way it did.

I had a plan: quit Storrs Drug, join EDGE Corps, fundraise all summer, be fully funded, get housing locally in Willimantic, start a Bible Study with non-Christians on campus at Eastern, help the Bible clubs on both the ECSU and MCC campuses grow, and disciple a few students.

That was NOT what happened at all. I only raised 21% of my full-time salary. It was such a stressful time over the summer raising support, that I never even got around to finding a place locally in Willimantic over the summer. No Bible Study was ever started at Eastern this past semester with non-Christians. I can only count on one hand the amount of deep spiritual conversations I had with them. The Bible clubs on both the MCC and ECSU campuses went through some hard months this semester and there was a decline in the spiritual morale and general population of both clubs. Lastly, since I was only on each campus once a week on average, I only was able to start a steady discipling relationship with one student. The rest of the discipling relationships I had fell apart because those students lost spiritual interest.

On top of that, there have been new and tough convictions placed in my heart concerning discipleship, church, what it means to be truly SOLD OUT for Christ, and much more. They are still things that I'm still trying to understand. However, just like Joseph and Mary, I want to take a deep step of faith this year. I have NO idea what this coming year will look like. I have no idea what even this coming month will look like!

For those of you who supported me this past year, thank you so much once again for your prayers, your advice, words of wisdom and encouragement, financial contributions and of course....MY HOUSING! A wonderful surprise this past year was not only when I was going to move more locally, but where. I did not see myself AT ALL living where I am now, and I am deeply thankful for it.

This Christmas, though circumstances are crazy, I thank God for the blessings He has given me. This past year throughout all the financial hardship, I never went broke, hungry or homeless. I gained new friends and became closer with existing friends. God has been good in more ways than I could have ever dreamed.

This Christmas, take a quiet moment away from family and the busyness. Reflect on God's goodness and grace. Reflect on HIS SON going from limitless God of the universe not bound by space and time to an infant who could only cry and poop, who spent His first night on earth in a feeding trough to start a rescue mission for our souls!

Merry Christmas!

-Steve

Linkin Park - "What I've Done"

"I've drawn regret from the truth of a thousand lies, so let mercy come and wash away what I've done." -Linkin Park from their song "What I've Done"

A long time ago when I used to listen to Linkin Park, I was a depressed teenager who used the music I listened to in fueling my rage and depression. I went through a season in my Christian walk where I had to get rid of every ounce of that music in order to find wholeness and healing, which included Linkin Park. However recently, now that I have been having a more stable root in Christ, have been able to revisit a lot of their songs with a more Christ-centered perspective that has literally caused me to enter into a spirit of worship. Their single that came out a few years ago called, "What I've Done" off of their album Minutes to Midnight talks a lot about repentance and letting go of past regrets or...dare I say it...SINS!

The music video for this song is very powerful. Joseph Hahn, the man behind the turntables for the band, also directed this video along with most of the other videos that Linkin Park has come out with. He does a great job in directing them and this video is no exception. I loved the series of images that were put into the video. They all flowed so harmoniously, showing in many ways the sins of society, particularly America. What's interesting is how the images flow to really get across some humbling messages. For example in the first chorus they showed images of lepers and hungry people then a sign saying, "EAT" and a boy stuffing his face. What a sobering image of corporate America today. While we are getting fat off fast food, millions are starving in other countries across the world.

Now for the record, Linkin Park does not call themselves a Christian band. From what I heard, almost every member of the band calls themselves some form of "Christian", except Brad Delson, the guitarist who is Jewish and Chester Bennington, who is an agnostic. Does that impact the meaning behind this video in any way? It could...

Now let's talk about the lyrics. What I've noticed about Linkin Park's lyrics is how they are very "general" in what they are talking about in order to appeal to a wider audience. For example, if a Christian like me wants to get a good message out of this, he can go right ahead!

The lyrics really talk about turning away from the old and starting over by embracing the new."'In this farewell, there's no blood, there's no alibi, 'cause I've drawn regret from the truth of a thousand lies."

The speaker in the lyrics feels no regret whatsoever in turning away, but only regret in what they have done. They realized that the life they were living before was filled with "a thousand lies." That is the story of every Christian today. They realized that the life they were living before was completely meaningless. In Ecclesiastes, Solomon, who is a bitter, old, repentant man comes to this conclusion: I have seen all the things that are done under the sun; all of them are meaningless, a chasing after the wind" (Eccl. 1:14). Everything that this world has to offer by itself is worthless. It's meaningless. The only truth about these things is that they are filled with "a thousand lies" of true satisfaction and meaning. These things won't bring meaning! They will leave you empty.

Then we come to the pre-chorus: "So let mercy come and wash away what I've done." This person wants mercy! Isn't that a beautiful picture? It is just like that picture Jesus painted of that tax collector at the temple beating his chest saying, "God have mercy on me, a sinner!" (Luke 18:13). We want mercy, we crave it. The speaker in this song is similar to that tax collector. They want mercy to come and wash away what they did. What's interesting is that mercy does not just come from within. It comes from someone else: Jesus Christ, the one who made mercy possible in the first place.

In the chorus the speaker talks about facing themselves, manning up to their mistakes and hoping to cross out what they did. What Chester Bennington doesn't realize yet, is that WE can't cross out what we did, but only Jesus can. However we should humble ourselves, lay down our lives and ask God, "What can I do with this? Give me some steps to set me free!" Repentance isn't just feeling bad and apologizing. It's a process of actively turning away.

In the second verse it makes reference to putting to rest what others think of us. Repentance isn't always welcomed with joy by others. Sometimes people don't get it. Sometimes it hurts!A few years ago I realized I was in a morally compromising relationship with another girl and had to let her go. She didn't understand and neither did her friends. I lost not only her, but her friends as well. In repentance, we need to do whatever it takes and burn whatever bridges we can. Even if some short-term results are loneliness and isolation as we attempt to find a new group of friends to hang out with. I've met people who have seen their sin, but refuse to let it go and embrace Jesus for fear of what their friends might think of them.

The speaker then refers to "hands of uncertainty". When we first start repenting from issues that literally were our lives, it doesn't initially make sense. We just know in our hearts that it's wrong and I have to get rid of it. The desire doesn't exactly go away either. We may be going the rest of our lives warring with images in our heads and desires in our hearts to turn back to those sins. We may even have "breaking points" where we want "just a taste" of that "good feeling" the sin brought on. Don't do it! Like it says in Romans 6, put that sin to death, even if it doesn't feel right. IT IS RIGHT!

Finally there is that powerful bridge of the song: "I start again and whatever pain may come, today this ends, I'm forgiving what I've done." When we do put the sin to death with our "hands of uncertainty" by the new power that is in us through Christ, we do "start again". In the music video during those lines, Joseph Hahn intentionally placed in images of a flower blooming, a cell dividing, an ultrasound of a child in a womb and then an infant playfully running. What a beautiful image of a new life!

In our new life in Christ, "whatever pain may come" we vow to always do our best to remember God's commandments and turn away from our own sin. We turn away from whatever feels right. We put that old life to an end TODAY, like it says in the song. Now in some ways, I don't agree with that word in the last line there that says "I'm forgiving what I've done." Obviously it's God who forgives, which is where I don't agree. I do believe, though, that we do need to also forgive ourselves and "stop playing judge". There are times in life when we do forget that God has forgiven us and we don't forgive ourselves for the wrong we have done. We beat ourselves into a pit and almost throw ourselves into Hell.

My friend, you don't play judge. Jesus does. And if you're in Jesus, His verdict for you is "Not Guilty." That's it. Rest in that! Rejoice in that like that infant child running! That "as far as the east is from the west, as far does He take our transgressions from us". (Psalm 103:12) He forgives what we've done. Therefore YOU need to forgive what you've done and rest in God's promise of atonement, salvation and forgiveness.

"I start again and whatever pain may come; today this ends, [He's forgiven] what I've done!" -the last line of that song with a slightly better adaptation to it.

Turn away from that sin in the new life you have in Christ. Forgive what you've done because He's forgiven you!

God bless you,

Steve