Strength in Hardship

“Simon, Simon, behold, Satan demanded to have you, that he might sift you like wheat, but I have prayed for you that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned again, strengthen your brothers.” -Luke 22:31-32

This verse is sobering for a variety of different reasons. It was said by Jesus to Simon hours before he would deny even knowing Jesus. Take a walk with me through it.

“Satan demanded to have you, that he might sift you like wheat” - Just like Satan wanted Simon, Satan wants us. He wants to “sift us like wheat”. He wants to wear us down, and not just with temptation and sin. He can also wear us down with busyness and a works-based mentality. A sobering quote that I heard once is, “If the devil can’t kill you, he’ll make you busy.” Satan wants to do anything he can to distract us from God, His plan for us, and to prevent us from sacrificing everything for Jesus.

Things get hard as a Christian, which is not really shared much in the mainstream American Christianity today. People say that God delivered us from harm (which He did), but that harm is of everlasting punishment and damnation. That harm is not always something like physical healing or deliverance from a specific addiction. It can be, but it not always is. Christianity is HARD. There is PAIN in walking with Jesus because there is an internal battle with sin that we war against. There can also be persecution from others. People can lose friendships and even lose ties with family through being Christians.

“but I have prayed for you, that your faith may not fail.” - What a wonderful thing to meditate on: Jesus prayed for Simon! Do you think that Jesus is praying for us too? I know He’s God, but He prays to His Father and is currently, as I’m typing this, interceding for me and every other Christian on this planet as they struggle through sin to get to Him.

“And when you have turned again” - I find such hope in that phrase! Jesus didn’t say “if”, but “when”! He knew Simon would turn back to Him after this brief time of failure and folly. He knew because He is God and He always knows the future, but He also knew because He is God and absolutely none of His plans can be thwarted! (Job 42:2)

“strengthen your brothers” - Jesus already gave Simon a job, even when He knew Simon was going to fail miserably. That’s like a manager telling an unfaithful employee, “Hey, I know you’re not going to show up for work tomorrow, but when you return the next day, I would like you to lead a training session for your co-workers.” I’m not saying you should skip work tomorrow, but isn’t that cool? Jesus knew what pain Satan was going to put Simon through, knew he was going to come back, and then gave Him a job as Peter, THE ROCK!

Are you going through a season where it is just REALLY HARD to follow Christ? The worship songs all sound the same, the pastor’s sermons sound the same, the Bible devotions sound the same, you space out in your prayer times, and you stumble over sinful thoughts and actions. Remember this promise: If you are in Christ, God will never, ever, under any circumstance let go of you (Rom. 8:38-39).

Driscollisms

My last full semester at ECSU, I took a course on writing poetry, which COMPLETELY changed my perspective on it. I now think poetry is pretty cool. One of my most memorable poems is one called "Driscollisms," which is a tribute to Pastor Mark Driscoll of Mars Hill Church in Seattle (www.marshillchurch.org). He has probably been one of the most influential people in my life. His views on anxiety, family, Jesus being everything, manliness and marriage have been transformational to me. Is Mark Driscoll Jesus? No, definitely not. However he loves Jesus and Jesus has used his messages and example in a lot of ways in my life.

This poem is a "postmodern cento" (chen-toe), which is a bit of an abstract form of poetry. Basically the poet takes lines from a source like a movie, a book, fortune cookies, or whatever in no particular order and makes a poem out of them. So for this, I took lines from various sermons that Mark Driscoll preached. The students in my class took it pretty well and thought it was pretty hilarious, especially because they usually thought Christians were "very religious, and very serious. And I think that's funny!" (Driscoll). So anyways, here is the poem. Enjoy!

Driscollisms
Various lines from various sermons by Pastor Mark Driscoll

Howdy Mars Hill,
I’m sweating like Mike Tyson in a spelling bee
Just trying to put the “fun” back in fundamentalism
Have a little fun with yourself because you are a joke.
I believe the joy of the Lord is our strength, and it’s cheaper than meds.

What do you call a musician without a girlfriend? Answer: homeless.
You change now, little boy.
You shut up, you put your pants on, you get a job,
you grow up and maybe one day you can love a woman.
Does he do this all the time? Yes, that’s why they have security.

I’m just the big brother giving them a wedgie for Jesus. That’s my job!
Gentlemen, your goal is not to stand before God
and tell him what level you got to on World of Warcraft.
She’s hot! So is Hell! Run forest run!
Go and grill your Garden Burger…or repent and eat some ribs.

I’m gonna get some water because I feel like I’m gonna start yelling again…
Jesus can’t kick anybody in the nuts! That’s a sin!
That’s funny, unless you’re that guy.
Write that down in our handy dandy notebook, we just figured out Blue’s Clues.

Jesus watches you download porn, which is theologically correct and actually true.
DJ Jazzy Jesus: two turntables and a microphone.
He’s a little kid, but He looks like an itty bitty man.
Every kid cries. They can’t talk. They’re like, “There’s something warm in the back! AAAH!!!”
So yes, Jesus did number one and number two…perfectly apparently.

Religious folks didn’t like Jesus because they never got invited to any parties.
What do you do with religious types? Make fun of them. Jesus did! That’s Biblical!
Jesus killed 2,000 pigs…hope he turned them into bacon.
David did it, I can do it. It’s a sandwich.

Post-Jesus? That’s Pre-Hell!
I will go to Hell, and there will be beer, and it will be fun.
He’s faking it? He’s a faker?
Yes, but you have not seen the big red “S” on my chest: SAVED!
You’re a terrible person!
You are worse than you ever feared and you are more loved than you ever dreamed.
I love you, that’s why I yell at you.

Christmas Reflections

Earlier tonight I was able to watch The Nativity Story with some close friends. Though it really wasn't exactly how things went down as they were recorded in scripture, it at least gave people a feel for the basic story as well as a very accurate glimpse into what the culture of those days was like.

One thing that has really been standing out to me this Christmas season is the faith of Mary and Joseph in the nine months building up to Jesus' birth. In Mary's time, living in an extremely conservative and legalistic culture, she risked the possibility of being beaten and stoned to death, losing her husband, and reputation for coming back home from a long trip being pregnant.

In Luke 1, it said that after Mary got visited by Gabriel and became pregnant by the power of the Holy Spirit, she sang a beautiful and theologically rich song of praise to God. It highlighted how she trusted in His sovereignty over her present situation. The scriptures never mentioned, however, any feelings of doubt, fear or anxiety Mary felt afterward. Did that mean she never went through them? Come on now, she's human! Of course Mary must have battled with some doubts, especially when she came back and saw Joseph's shocked face at the fact her belly was bigger than when they last saw each other.

Then of course one must think of her parents. I bet they were a little concerned too! In the situation she was in once she got home, Elizabeth, her cousin with whom she could definitely sympathize with and vent to, was nowhere in sight. She was alone with her faith.

Have you been like that before? Maybe you're the only Christian in your family this Christmas. It's tough, right? Maybe your family just cares about opening presents, drinking egg nog, maybe "sparking" that nog a bit, then getting drunk and passing out. The last thing they want to rejoice over is Jesus' birth. Probably the only time they say the words "Jesus Christ" is when they're upset. People around you don't understand you. They may even be judging you and making fun of you behind your back.

I guarantee you, though scripture doesn't record it, Mary was there. Nazareth was a small town and I'm sure word got out that Mary came back from her long trip pregnant.

Or maybe you had a set plan this past year of what you wanted to do with your life, but a monkey wrench got thrown into it. That was Joseph. He had the woman of his dreams, a steady job, and a house. Then all of a sudden his plans got thwarted because Mary came home pregnant AND the Roman government tells him he has to go back to Bethlehem, where he was born, and register for the census. He then had to take his very pregnant new wife who he can't even have sex with across rocky desert terrain with little food and water and a high risk of attack by thieves on the roads. Not exactly the plan he was thinking of, eh?

But they both took that journey together in faith knowing that this was from God and that He would provide for their every need.

I can tell you one thing....I did NOT expect this past year to turn out the way it did.

I had a plan: quit Storrs Drug, join EDGE Corps, fundraise all summer, be fully funded, get housing locally in Willimantic, start a Bible Study with non-Christians on campus at Eastern, help the Bible clubs on both the ECSU and MCC campuses grow, and disciple a few students.

That was NOT what happened at all. I only raised 21% of my full-time salary. It was such a stressful time over the summer raising support, that I never even got around to finding a place locally in Willimantic over the summer. No Bible Study was ever started at Eastern this past semester with non-Christians. I can only count on one hand the amount of deep spiritual conversations I had with them. The Bible clubs on both the MCC and ECSU campuses went through some hard months this semester and there was a decline in the spiritual morale and general population of both clubs. Lastly, since I was only on each campus once a week on average, I only was able to start a steady discipling relationship with one student. The rest of the discipling relationships I had fell apart because those students lost spiritual interest.

On top of that, there have been new and tough convictions placed in my heart concerning discipleship, church, what it means to be truly SOLD OUT for Christ, and much more. They are still things that I'm still trying to understand. However, just like Joseph and Mary, I want to take a deep step of faith this year. I have NO idea what this coming year will look like. I have no idea what even this coming month will look like!

For those of you who supported me this past year, thank you so much once again for your prayers, your advice, words of wisdom and encouragement, financial contributions and of course....MY HOUSING! A wonderful surprise this past year was not only when I was going to move more locally, but where. I did not see myself AT ALL living where I am now, and I am deeply thankful for it.

This Christmas, though circumstances are crazy, I thank God for the blessings He has given me. This past year throughout all the financial hardship, I never went broke, hungry or homeless. I gained new friends and became closer with existing friends. God has been good in more ways than I could have ever dreamed.

This Christmas, take a quiet moment away from family and the busyness. Reflect on God's goodness and grace. Reflect on HIS SON going from limitless God of the universe not bound by space and time to an infant who could only cry and poop, who spent His first night on earth in a feeding trough to start a rescue mission for our souls!

Merry Christmas!

-Steve

Linkin Park - "What I've Done"

"I've drawn regret from the truth of a thousand lies, so let mercy come and wash away what I've done." -Linkin Park from their song "What I've Done"

A long time ago when I used to listen to Linkin Park, I was a depressed teenager who used the music I listened to in fueling my rage and depression. I went through a season in my Christian walk where I had to get rid of every ounce of that music in order to find wholeness and healing, which included Linkin Park. However recently, now that I have been having a more stable root in Christ, have been able to revisit a lot of their songs with a more Christ-centered perspective that has literally caused me to enter into a spirit of worship. Their single that came out a few years ago called, "What I've Done" off of their album Minutes to Midnight talks a lot about repentance and letting go of past regrets or...dare I say it...SINS!

The music video for this song is very powerful. Joseph Hahn, the man behind the turntables for the band, also directed this video along with most of the other videos that Linkin Park has come out with. He does a great job in directing them and this video is no exception. I loved the series of images that were put into the video. They all flowed so harmoniously, showing in many ways the sins of society, particularly America. What's interesting is how the images flow to really get across some humbling messages. For example in the first chorus they showed images of lepers and hungry people then a sign saying, "EAT" and a boy stuffing his face. What a sobering image of corporate America today. While we are getting fat off fast food, millions are starving in other countries across the world.

Now for the record, Linkin Park does not call themselves a Christian band. From what I heard, almost every member of the band calls themselves some form of "Christian", except Brad Delson, the guitarist who is Jewish and Chester Bennington, who is an agnostic. Does that impact the meaning behind this video in any way? It could...

Now let's talk about the lyrics. What I've noticed about Linkin Park's lyrics is how they are very "general" in what they are talking about in order to appeal to a wider audience. For example, if a Christian like me wants to get a good message out of this, he can go right ahead!

The lyrics really talk about turning away from the old and starting over by embracing the new."'In this farewell, there's no blood, there's no alibi, 'cause I've drawn regret from the truth of a thousand lies."

The speaker in the lyrics feels no regret whatsoever in turning away, but only regret in what they have done. They realized that the life they were living before was filled with "a thousand lies." That is the story of every Christian today. They realized that the life they were living before was completely meaningless. In Ecclesiastes, Solomon, who is a bitter, old, repentant man comes to this conclusion: I have seen all the things that are done under the sun; all of them are meaningless, a chasing after the wind" (Eccl. 1:14). Everything that this world has to offer by itself is worthless. It's meaningless. The only truth about these things is that they are filled with "a thousand lies" of true satisfaction and meaning. These things won't bring meaning! They will leave you empty.

Then we come to the pre-chorus: "So let mercy come and wash away what I've done." This person wants mercy! Isn't that a beautiful picture? It is just like that picture Jesus painted of that tax collector at the temple beating his chest saying, "God have mercy on me, a sinner!" (Luke 18:13). We want mercy, we crave it. The speaker in this song is similar to that tax collector. They want mercy to come and wash away what they did. What's interesting is that mercy does not just come from within. It comes from someone else: Jesus Christ, the one who made mercy possible in the first place.

In the chorus the speaker talks about facing themselves, manning up to their mistakes and hoping to cross out what they did. What Chester Bennington doesn't realize yet, is that WE can't cross out what we did, but only Jesus can. However we should humble ourselves, lay down our lives and ask God, "What can I do with this? Give me some steps to set me free!" Repentance isn't just feeling bad and apologizing. It's a process of actively turning away.

In the second verse it makes reference to putting to rest what others think of us. Repentance isn't always welcomed with joy by others. Sometimes people don't get it. Sometimes it hurts!A few years ago I realized I was in a morally compromising relationship with another girl and had to let her go. She didn't understand and neither did her friends. I lost not only her, but her friends as well. In repentance, we need to do whatever it takes and burn whatever bridges we can. Even if some short-term results are loneliness and isolation as we attempt to find a new group of friends to hang out with. I've met people who have seen their sin, but refuse to let it go and embrace Jesus for fear of what their friends might think of them.

The speaker then refers to "hands of uncertainty". When we first start repenting from issues that literally were our lives, it doesn't initially make sense. We just know in our hearts that it's wrong and I have to get rid of it. The desire doesn't exactly go away either. We may be going the rest of our lives warring with images in our heads and desires in our hearts to turn back to those sins. We may even have "breaking points" where we want "just a taste" of that "good feeling" the sin brought on. Don't do it! Like it says in Romans 6, put that sin to death, even if it doesn't feel right. IT IS RIGHT!

Finally there is that powerful bridge of the song: "I start again and whatever pain may come, today this ends, I'm forgiving what I've done." When we do put the sin to death with our "hands of uncertainty" by the new power that is in us through Christ, we do "start again". In the music video during those lines, Joseph Hahn intentionally placed in images of a flower blooming, a cell dividing, an ultrasound of a child in a womb and then an infant playfully running. What a beautiful image of a new life!

In our new life in Christ, "whatever pain may come" we vow to always do our best to remember God's commandments and turn away from our own sin. We turn away from whatever feels right. We put that old life to an end TODAY, like it says in the song. Now in some ways, I don't agree with that word in the last line there that says "I'm forgiving what I've done." Obviously it's God who forgives, which is where I don't agree. I do believe, though, that we do need to also forgive ourselves and "stop playing judge". There are times in life when we do forget that God has forgiven us and we don't forgive ourselves for the wrong we have done. We beat ourselves into a pit and almost throw ourselves into Hell.

My friend, you don't play judge. Jesus does. And if you're in Jesus, His verdict for you is "Not Guilty." That's it. Rest in that! Rejoice in that like that infant child running! That "as far as the east is from the west, as far does He take our transgressions from us". (Psalm 103:12) He forgives what we've done. Therefore YOU need to forgive what you've done and rest in God's promise of atonement, salvation and forgiveness.

"I start again and whatever pain may come; today this ends, [He's forgiven] what I've done!" -the last line of that song with a slightly better adaptation to it.

Turn away from that sin in the new life you have in Christ. Forgive what you've done because He's forgiven you!

God bless you,

Steve

Counting Blessings (a Thanksgiving post)

This post is dedicated to all my partners in ministry. You know who you are! Thanks for your support!

Early in the summer before I headed off with EDGE Corps, I did a journaling template by Mark Driscoll on having time of Silence and Solitude with Jesus. (to view the template and blog post, click here) The first part of the template was interesting: "Recent Evidencesof God's Grace," which is where you list times in your life when you have seen God be gracious and to thank Him for it. Mark confessed that he is oftentimes a pessimist, so doing this helps him get off on the right track.

I definitely know what that is like. Oftentimes in my prayer life and thought patterns I can be like that, saying, "God, please do this, I'm stressed about that, this person worries me..." I can be such a pessimist, which is why I'm thankful for those friends of mine who tell me to "lighten up and quit worrying so much."

This past weekend I took a bunch of college students to a preview weekend for EDGE Corps, the program I've been involved in. The weekend was great fun and I felt like I encouraged a lot of students, especially those who were nervous about the fundraising aspect of the job. Surprisingly, in sharing with them I found myself encouraging one person: ME!

So here is a list of recent blessings for me in raising support these past few months:

- Financially speaking, I have raised 97% of my part-time salary in monthly pledges.

- I have housing closer to the ECSU campus, which has been graciously provided by one of my partners at a discounted rate (SEE PHOTO!)

- I have a part-time job to make ends meet for me financially, which one of my partners helped me get.

- I have had some great meetings with people: getting to know them, their families, their ministries, their burdens, etc.

- I got chances to catch up with old friends when I called them/met up with them.

- I have gotten to know friends a lot better through support meetings and continual communication with them.

-I have gotten much closer to some of my family members.

- Members of both my immediate and extended family have been blessed, encouraged and are getting drawn closer to Jesus since I started raising support.

-I have loving parents who are incredibly supportive of my ministry and help me out so much I actually have to sometimes decline their hospitality!

-Hundreds of partners are praying and interceding for me. There is one partner in particular who taped my picture to the right bottom corner of his computer screen so every time he sits down to use it, he takes a moment to pray for me!

So to my partners. My FRIENDS. THANK YOU! I thank God for you and your eagerness to support, to pray and to sacrifice for the good of the Kingdom. I rejoice over the fact that I am partners with you. I cannot do it alone. Of course I need Jesus' power in my life, but part of Jesus' empowerment in this ministry comes through great people like you!

Thank you all! God bless you!

-Steve

One as He is One

This past Friday I helped out my good friends at Faith 2 Faith Ministries International with a regional youth event they run every fall called Overtime. This is an all-night event where kids from all different churches see a killer main event concert with a gospel presentation and then are let loose to do activities like rollerskating, bowling, sumo wrestling, junk food eating and much more mayhem all night long.

The event was exciting, yet draining at the same time. However the pain was worth it as we saw 48 teens (at least what was counted) who made decisions for Christ. Five of those decisions were for the first time!

This year one of the things I did was help out with the registration of the different groups. It was so exciting to see the number of churches involved this year! It reminded me of this scripture:

"After this I looked and there before me was a great multitude that no one could count, from every nation, tribe, people and language, standing before the throne and in front of the Lamb. They were wearing white robes and were holding palm branches in their hands."

-Revelation 7:9 (NIV, emphasis added)

Churches that participated this past Friday were from a variety of different denominations and all of them were crammed in one room. Lutheran kids were chillin' with Pentecostals, Congregationalists were cracking jokes with Charismatics, and all of them were praising the God they loved. Doctrinal differences of predestination, eschatology, and spiritual gifts didn't matter. The order of worship in their Sunday services didn't matter either. What mattered was Jesus being glorified!

That is all that will matter in the end. It doesn't matter what denomination we associate ourselves with because every denomination will be represented in the life to come! If we consider ourselves to be united with Christ, we should likewise be united in Him. This was one of the last prayers that Jesus prayed during His time on earth:

"My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me. I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one: I in them and you in me. May they be brought to complete unity to let the world know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me." -John 17:20-23

Oh Church, why can't we be like this more often?

"It's better to be interested than interesting."

Let me paint a scenario for you....

You decide to log onto your AIM account for the first time in a long time and see one of your old friends from high school on. Just for kicks you decide to Instant Message her, say hi and catch up for old time's sake. You ask her, "How's it going?" and she responds like this: "Not much...my best friend committed suicide last week."

This was where I found myself a few years ago with an old friend of mine I'll just call Stephanie. Sitting there at that moment I immediately prayed, "God, what on earth do I say to this?! Do I tell her Jesus loves her? Do I tell her this person went to Hell and so she should embrace Jesus as her Savior while there's still time? (which I don't know for a fact by the way)."

It sounds ridiculous, but I prayed that prayer at that moment because I wanted to help! I wanted to say something to her to make her feel better, but absolutely nothing was coming to mind.

Then at that moment I had an epiphany: this girl didn't want answers, she just wanted ears. She may not have believed in Jesus as Lord and she may not have liked Christians, but for some reason at this moment she was opening up to me. Why? Because at that moment she trusted me to listen.

So I typed back, "Wow...how long did you know her?"

"My whole life."

"Are you doing okay?"

"Meh, I've been better."

"Yeah, I bet..."

Sometimes when people come to us, whether Christian or non-Christian, they aren't always looking for a sermon. Sometimes they are just looking for a pair of ears to listen, a pair of eyes to look at them with compassion, and a shoulder to lend if they want to cry on it (if you're talking with the opposite gender, proceed with caution, haha).

Yes people need Jesus, but do we always have to share Jesus with words? I think it is important to when the time is right. Speaking from experience, I actually spent plenty of time preaching to people when the time was wrong. And yeah, seeds were planted, but they will probably be growing in spite of me, not because of me. I actually did this with Stephanie in a later conversation, which is one of the reasons why she doesn't talk to me much anymore.

A beautiful example of this in the life of Jesus is when he approaches his dear friend Mary, who just lost her brother Lazarus. Mary is beside herself and immediately comes to Jesus, collapses at His feet, and says, "If you had been here, my brother would not have died" (John 11:32). Jesus at that moment could have preached to her and made similar statements like what he made to her sister Martha earlier, but instead He weeps.

At that moment, Jesus knew what was going to happen, but knew Mary did not need an answer. Mary just needed some sympathy, pity and comfort. And that's exactly what she got.

So next time you want to give advice to someone who comes to you with a problem, ask yourself and God if they are really looking for answers, or instead just for someone to listen to and cry with them. But if you screw up, it's okay, too. Jesus can and still will be glorified though you regardless!

God bless you,

Steve